Midlife Musings

I just did a quick count of my t-shirts. Of the 23 everyday tees I have, 8 of them are pink or contain pink. Do you think I like pink? Yeah, me too. It’s not earth-shattering news, by any stretch, but I did think it was amusing.

So, what made me count? I threw yesterday’s short (pink) in the laundry, and grabbed the next one in the stack, and it was………pink. Funny thing is, I’m thinking about my dress clothes, and there’s a substantial pink influence in that area as well. Heh, at least when I book my fantasy Vacation Rentals, imaginary packing will be easy.

Mama and I went to see Grandmother Sunday. It was a milestone day for us, and not in a good way. She did not recognize either of us, which was bad enough. But she also did not recognize my name, which is different from not recognizing me. My 39 year old self has been part of her life for a very short time, really. But my NAME has been part of her life for four decades. Even more disheartening was that when Mama said “Mother”, there was not a flash of anything in Grandmother’s eyes or face.

She looked so sad and alone in the bed. I realized that as tough as it is on us to be there unrecognized, it’s got to be worse on her. Surely she must feel deserted, if the people she loves never come around. And if she doesn’t recognize us, then the effect on her is the same as us not coming at all. We are just more faceless strangers performing tasks to try to ensure her physical comfort.

Right before we left, Mama took down a sign that had hung in Grandmother’s room above her bed since she went into the nursing home. The sign said “Dear Visitors, if I am sleeping, please wake me.” I’m pretty sure Mama was crying when she did it, but her back was to me.

We left the nursing home, and went “home”, that being what we call Grandmother’s house. We walked around, looking at the green growing things. Grand-dad’’s tractor is still parked under the barn across the road. The flowers and shrubs that my Grandmother loved are growing riotously, spilling over the beds. It was all very interesting, in that way that quaint places that belong to strangers is interesting. There is no more of my grandparents left there than there is in photographs in a magazine.

I wonder if that’s part of the draw of magazines? Perhaps they conduct market research to determine which pictures will strike a chord with their readers memories. What exactly will take them flying back to their own pasts in a way that is pleasant, but not painful? Close, but not too close to the reality they once knew?

I have to admit up front that it’s just talk. A family vacation is simple out of the question after the money we have had to spend on appliances this year. But, several members of my family have been to Hawaii, and I have a good friend who visits regularly, and another blogging buddy actually lives there.

I’d truly love to go to Kona one day, if only for the coffee. You know I have this thing about coffee, and I’ve heard several people say Kona Coffee is the ultimate. Smooth and rich, with enough caffeine to make you think twice. I could look for Kona vacation rentals, sit around on the beach admiring the views and getting a good buzz on from all reports.

Speaking of views, I wonder if Hawaii looks as wonderful in person as it does on tv? I remember watching Magnum PI, and thinking how awesome it would be to live there. Of course, I’m older now, and a little smarter than I was when Magnum was a new show. I’m betting they never left Hollywood.

I know it’s Tuesday, but I took off blogging for the holiday, and I like the questions for this week, so I am going to do it TODAY.

What’s your favorite food item that is in your refrigerator right now?
Do you enjoying barbecuing on the grill? What’s something that you make often?
What one item (kitchen gadget, appliance, food item) in your kitchen best describes your personality? Why?

Favorite food item: mayonnaise, can you can do so much with it. I like mayonnaise. I was going to say tea, which I like even better, but I’m not sure a drink qualifies as food.

I don’t like to do the barbecuing, but I love to eat food cooked on the grill. I haven’t met a grilled food I didn’t enjoy. Any meat or vegetable is good off the barbie.

HA! mayonnaise, because I am smooth and creamy and go well with everything. Or tea, because I am sweet.

No, I don’t have one. I’ve seriously considered it several times, but I’ve always decided not to have it done. I don’t know if it’s the pain or the permanence that holds me back. I probably should have listed this secret tattoo desire on the meme I did the other day, where I had to tell stuff most folks don’t know about me.

I saw a company today that sells supplies for airbrush tattoos: stencils, ink, kits, all of it. That takes care of the pain factor, and the permanence concern quite nicely, doesn’t it? If I changed my mind, the tat would go away in 14 days. I haven’t made up my mind quite yet, now, so don’t get all excited expected me to post pics of the “other half of my butterfly tattoo”, but….well, you never know, do ya?

That’s me today. See, I’ve done some blog reading over the past few days. And there are blogs that are silly, they are blogs that are fun, and there are blogs that you wonder why they exist at all (maybe I have a couple of those??). And then there are the blogs that make me jealous. The authors are incredible writers who just pour themselves out in eloquent phrases. They think THOUGHTS. They say IMPORTANT THINGS. And I wonder where I stack up in all that. I mean I have thoughts, and some of them are even pretty good. But it’s so rare that I can sit down uninterrupted and get them out in words that are fit for public consumption, and it frustrates me.

Right now, for this blog alone, I have about 4 Sunday Sermons I need to type up. Good thing I took notes, huh? And I have a couple of other posts rolling around in my head, and a few even saved as drafts, and I despair of ever being able to develop them into coherent posts.

Do you want to know how many times I have been interrupted in writing this short post? Well, I’ve learned all about The Lost Disc from the POTC set Dh picked up for us today. I’ve taken a phone call from my mother, and I’ve learned about Jason Aldean’s new CD, and I’ve listened to four five six jokes. heh, at least my kids still talk to me, so I guess I’m doing something right, even if it’s not blogging.

Technorati Tags: blog reading

My favorite piece of jewelry is not one I wear everyday. In fact, I wear it rarely, because it’s just not an everyday piece. I’m still not quite sure how I ended up with it, even. See, when my mother-in-law died, I was the third of the three daughters and daughters-in-law to go through her things. I don’t know why the other ladies passed these up, but I am so glad they did. I wear this triple strand of pearls when I dress up. They just make me feel incredibly special.

Now, you may not have inherited pearl jewelry, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have some of your own. National Pearl offers a wide variety of necklaces, bracelets and earrings, and right now, they are running a special that includes a free set of stud earrings with the purchase of certain necklaces. They offer both fresh and saltwater pearls, in natural, colored or polished states, and in a variety of sizes.

Now, you know that your new pearls will not hold the special memories that my old ones do. At least not today. But tomorrow is coming, and it could well be that someday, someone else will wear your pearl necklace, and they will feel warm inside, not just from the beauty of the pearls, but from memories of you.

Hey, that top 3 thing really worked for me yesterday. I did two of the things completely, and got 2 loads of laundry wash/dried/folded and 4 loads put away. I think I’ll just take my own advice and make a top three list most days. So……..

~3 loads washed/dried/folded and 4 put away (this will catch up the folded but not put way stuff.

~vacuum the kitchen cabinets

~pack up the sweaters for Jenn

I have the normal stuff, too, and many more extras I could list, but I prefer to eat my elephants one bite at a time.