I forgot to mention, (and how did that happen??) that I ran away Saturday for a mental health day. Well, that’s not true. I think “neglected to mention” is a more accurate representation of what happened. I found myself along about last Wednesday really wanting out. In fact, every time I let go of conscious control of my thoughts OUT was what my mind screamed.
Anyway, so on Saturday, I just told DH I was leaving for the day, and that’s what I did. And that’s when I realized I had let my gas run out. I was completely empty. And I’m really not sure how I got that way, because even in retrospect, I can’t see what I did that would tap all my reserves. But tapped they were, and it was pretty bad in my head, ya’ll. A lot of mental real estate was taken just trying to get through the next minute, and then the one after that. It was…..consuming, this mental thing I had.
Umm, this post is confusing even to me, and I lived through it. I can only imagine what it must read like, but I am not sure how to make it any clearer. Perhaps, I am trying to say that–sometimes when it looks really, really bad, it’s not as awful as you think it is. And sometimes, it’s actually worse. And that if your gut instinct is telling you it’s time to recharge NOW, maybe you’d better listen.