Do you twitter? I twitter. Some days more than others. These past few days, not so much. I’ve been busy, just like I said. In fact, I did twitter this evening, and I said “purging my life of detritus, one broken/outgrown/useless item at a time. Feels mighty fine.” Now I think I told you I had cleaned the house pretty thoroughly from the 10th of December through Christmas, except for my room, so this is the second pass and I am still finding plenty of stuff I don’t use. If I use 4 pots to cook, why do I have 6? 2 went out to goodwill. Why do I keep frying pans in here that only hold food for one person? Ah, well, those belonged to my grandmother, you see. They went out to the shed, and when my family shrinks, I will bring them back in. They are cast-iron, older than my own mother, and they will wait for me. And that is just the kitchen. I’ve also been doing some work in the bathroom. I don’t need the shelves I thought I needed when I get rid of stuff I don’t ever use and then take advantage of the space I freed up. Although I must confess that it takes way more stuff to keep me looking pretty that it did twenty years ago, and it’s a little embarrassing to see it out on the counter, even in a pretty basket.

I told you I was purging myself of some excess weight. I don’t think I confessed that I wear pajama pants at home because the waist band of all my jeans are so tight it hurts. It seems a cruel twist of fate that I finally, finally, finally fill out the backside of my pants only to not be able to fasten them. I think I also failed to mention that my joints hurt almost all the time. And I am certain I did not mention the final straw: I dropped my ruler on the way to my cousin’s house last Saturday and I could not bend over far enough to pick it up. Dh had to pick it up for me, and he was driving. Yep, that was embarrassing, too, but I am fixing it.

I’m purging some of my responsibilities as well. I’ve pretty much made up my mind to let a couple more of my blogs go to seed, as it were. I have found that running so many is not the panacea I thought it would be. It takes me a couple hours to put together a top-notch post, the kind that will draw readers in and bring them back again, and I can’t do that with 5/6/7 blogs to maintain. There just aren’t enough hours in the day, provided I plan to eat, sleep, pee or parent, let alone wife. (Did I just use wife as a verb? Yes, I did. More on that later.) Rather than spread myself so thin that I can’t do a good job anywhere, I’m thinking it would be better to do less and do it well. And also, maybe smile more so my kids don’t ask me why I am mad so much. Especially when I’m not. And also, free up some time to do non-internet stuff that I need to do, which will directly impact lives today, tomorrow and forever, needful and important activities. See, it’s also embarrassing to tell Jesus my hands are too full to properly perform the tasks He lays out before me.

Finally, and most difficult, I am purging myself of some bad attitudes toward my husband. Oh, that is the hardest one to admit, the most embarrassing if you will. After all, I am supposed to have it all together. I’m a Christian, you know. Wife is me, you know. I’m Cinderella, you know. Of course Christian doesn’t mean I am perfect, just forgiven, and the rest of those things just plain aren’t true. And lately, I’ve been impatient, unkind, unloving and occasionally just plain mean to my husband. Oh we are struggling, no doubt. But I’m pretty sure that we would be wiser to stand together and struggle together against the problem rather than tear little pieces out of one another. My husband isn’t saved, he doesn’t know any better. I am and I do, and yet, I’m falling short of the mark almost daily. See, I told you that was the most embarrassing. The benefit of having told you is that now you can pray for me, and now I can share what I am learning, and you will now that I am not just blowing hot air out of my wazoo. God leads us through troubled times so that we can help others avoid them by sharing what we’ve learned. Notice I didn’t say He gives us troubled times, for He does not. But He is willing to lead us at all times, and trouble is no exception.

3 thoughts on “Purging

  1. One of the greatest feelings I ever have is after I have cleaned out a room, or a drawer, or a garage, or a….you get the picture.

    You know, I’m not all “together” on the God thing, but joining your husband in a partnership or team is a very strong bond. It gives you hope, it gives you faith. The two of you together can conquer anything!

  2. Hey Cass,
    I’m catholic and I read my bible every morning for fifteen or so minutes, and then I pray about whatever is on my mind at the time. I write it all down in a prayer journal – a simple notebook. I do this every day – usually in the morning. I find it really helps set myself up for the day keeping the “main thing the main thing” so to speek. It really does help me – especially when it comes to those that matter most – my family!

  3. Sometimes reading your blog is like looking in the mirror. It’s uncanny how you often blog about things that are weighing on my mind at the time. Thanks for sharing and don’t be embarassed, you are very brave and honest to put this stuff “out there” for everyone to benefit from. I’m always inspired and motivated by the way you achieve so much yet constantly strive to improve . I think you are wonderful.

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