15 years

I realized the other day that it has been 15 years since I had a good cry. That’s kinda….weird. I mean, no wonder I feel so stressed, it’s because I am stressed. I always tell myself, when I am stifling my emotions, that I will cry later, at a more convenient time. Apparently, in 15 years, there has not been a convenient time.

Did you know that scientists have proven that our tears contain chemicals that need to be purged from our bodies, and that the act of crying allows us to release tension and stress and confront life feeling refreshed? Yeah.

From Wiki:

3. Crying or weeping (psychic tears): The third category, generally referred to as crying or weeping, is increased lacrimation due to strong emotional stress, depression or physical pain. This practice is not restricted to negative emotions; many people cry when extremely happy. In humans, emotional tears can be accompanied by reddening of the face and sobbing — cough-like, convulsive breathing, sometimes involving spasms of the whole upper body. Tears brought about by emotions have a different chemical make up than those for lubrication; emotional tears contain more of the protein-based hormones prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, and leucine enkephalin (a natural painkiller) than basal or reflex tears. The limbic system is involved in production of basic emotional drives, such as anger, fear, etc. The limbic system, specifically the hypothalamus, also has a degree of control over the autonomic system. The parasympathetic branch of the autonomic system controls the lacrimal glands via the neurotransmitter acetylcholine through both the nicotinic and muscarinic receptors. When these receptors are activated, the lacrimal gland is stimulated to produce tears.[2]

In nearly all cultures, crying is seen as a specific act associated with tears trickling down the cheeks and accompanied by characteristic sobbing sounds. Emotional triggers are most often anger and grief, but crying can also be triggered by sadness, joy, fear, laughter or humor, frustration, remorse or other strongly-experienced emotions.

Sometimes being able to “handle it” is not as good for you as you might think. Frankly, the only way to “handle it” is to stifle emotions or just shut them or, or a combination of the two, which is what works for me. But with stifling, the emotions are still there, under the surface, ready to pounce on you (the stifler), when you least expect it, and with shutting off, you end up cold and unfeeling. And that is how I came to be sitting here as a stone cold bitty, who explodes with negative emotions at the slightest provocation.

Yep, sucks to be me, but I am working on it.

One thought on “15 years

  1. You’re a very strong woman if you haven’t had a good cry in over 15 years.

    I’m an emotional volcano, ready to burst at the drop of a feather. I often wish I were able to “handle it” the way you seem to have done so well over the past years.

    It may not be as healthy, but it would make me feel a lot better to be cold than like a sobbing baby all of the time.

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