That would be my dogwood. I’ve been holding out hope, but now it is the middle of May, all the other tress are green, and yet the dogwood is not only not green, but it is also dry and brittle. Remember I told you I transplanted 2 trees last year, at the wrong time of year? Well, they both actually died, but the root ball lived on the one, so I have saplings coming up from it at least. Too bad I don’t know what it is yest, though it does resemble a peach. There are no other peach trees in the neighborhood, not even in my side yard where we dug that one up, though, so who knows.

You know what else? After all the drought, this year we have had heavy rains, and irises “hate to have their feet wet”, and so only a couple of them bloomed. Yep, two years of low bloom from the drought, followed by a year of no blooming because of too much rain. I just can’t win in the yard. Unlike my Grandmother, who could make anything at all grow. She always had the most beautiful flowers in her yard, right up until she moved out of her house. In fact, Mama has been working in the yard there this week, getting the place ready to rent. (They killed at least two SNAKES! Ugh! But remind me to tell you about AuntF and the snake story one day, it’s a good one.)

Anyway, back to the green, and not so green things in my yard. I saw an ad for <silk plants and it made me stop and think. Most people think of silk plants as an indoor item, but you can use them outside. And you know what? They don’t die if you move them at the wrong time of year, and they bloom right on time, rain or no rain. Bloom right on time. Hahah, I slay me. They come already blooming, and they stay that way, of course. Unlike mine, which apparently come not blooming and stay that way.

Ok, you want to hear the snake story? Fine. I have an Aunt with MS. AuntF is wheelchairbound, and occasionally bedridden, but she does get out and go places, and one of those places is the family reunion, which is where the story I am about to relate began. Now, she also smokes, but she has to wait for someone to light the cigarette for her, and sit with her while she smokes it, in case she drops it. This means that she smoked pretty much nonstop at the family reunion, and AuntF smokes in a style best exemplified by Hollywood, with long fingered graceful movements and a casual nonchalance. SO. We were sitting around last year, and talking, and she starts talking about the time there was a snake at her house, in the drainpipe and she “called Uncle R”. Her “Uncle R” was my Grand-dad, the same one I have spoken of several times on this blog. He happened to be very scared of snakes, which Mama and I knew, but maybe AuntF did not. So she told us that “Uncle R shot the sit out of that drainpipe”. Needless to say, I had vision of Grandad, eyes squeezed shit tight, blasting the side of the house, because yes, indeed, he did the business with a shotgun.

Fast forward 40-50 years, and we’ll wrap up with an event this week. I told you Mama had been working in the flowers at Grandmother’s, and there had been a couple of snakes killed. When she came across the last one (and also, my mother is TERRIFIED of snakes. it’s genetic. We can’t help it.), H was there. H is the grandson of AuntF, and he shot the snake. With a shotgun. And so when Mama told me, as I was laying on the floor doing my belly buster exercises, I just looked at her and said, ‘Well, did he shoot the shit out of that flowerbed border?” and we laughed and laughed and laughed. The rest of my family looked at us like we were insane. It was still funny, and I can’t wait to see AuntF again.