That would be my dogwood. I’ve been holding out hope, but now it is the middle of May, all the other tress are green, and yet the dogwood is not only not green, but it is also dry and brittle. Remember I told you I transplanted 2 trees last year, at the wrong time of year? Well, they both actually died, but the root ball lived on the one, so I have saplings coming up from it at least. Too bad I don’t know what it is yest, though it does resemble a peach. There are no other peach trees in the neighborhood, not even in my side yard where we dug that one up, though, so who knows.

You know what else? After all the drought, this year we have had heavy rains, and irises “hate to have their feet wet”, and so only a couple of them bloomed. Yep, two years of low bloom from the drought, followed by a year of no blooming because of too much rain. I just can’t win in the yard. Unlike my Grandmother, who could make anything at all grow. She always had the most beautiful flowers in her yard, right up until she moved out of her house. In fact, Mama has been working in the yard there this week, getting the place ready to rent. (They killed at least two SNAKES! Ugh! But remind me to tell you about AuntF and the snake story one day, it’s a good one.)

Anyway, back to the green, and not so green things in my yard. I saw an ad for <silk plants and it made me stop and think. Most people think of silk plants as an indoor item, but you can use them outside. And you know what? They don’t die if you move them at the wrong time of year, and they bloom right on time, rain or no rain. Bloom right on time. Hahah, I slay me. They come already blooming, and they stay that way, of course. Unlike mine, which apparently come not blooming and stay that way.

Ok, you want to hear the snake story? Fine. I have an Aunt with MS. AuntF is wheelchairbound, and occasionally bedridden, but she does get out and go places, and one of those places is the family reunion, which is where the story I am about to relate began. Now, she also smokes, but she has to wait for someone to light the cigarette for her, and sit with her while she smokes it, in case she drops it. This means that she smoked pretty much nonstop at the family reunion, and AuntF smokes in a style best exemplified by Hollywood, with long fingered graceful movements and a casual nonchalance. SO. We were sitting around last year, and talking, and she starts talking about the time there was a snake at her house, in the drainpipe and she “called Uncle R”. Her “Uncle R” was my Grand-dad, the same one I have spoken of several times on this blog. He happened to be very scared of snakes, which Mama and I knew, but maybe AuntF did not. So she told us that “Uncle R shot the sit out of that drainpipe”. Needless to say, I had vision of Grandad, eyes squeezed shit tight, blasting the side of the house, because yes, indeed, he did the business with a shotgun.

Fast forward 40-50 years, and we’ll wrap up with an event this week. I told you Mama had been working in the flowers at Grandmother’s, and there had been a couple of snakes killed. When she came across the last one (and also, my mother is TERRIFIED of snakes. it’s genetic. We can’t help it.), H was there. H is the grandson of AuntF, and he shot the snake. With a shotgun. And so when Mama told me, as I was laying on the floor doing my belly buster exercises, I just looked at her and said, ‘Well, did he shoot the shit out of that flowerbed border?” and we laughed and laughed and laughed. The rest of my family looked at us like we were insane. It was still funny, and I can’t wait to see AuntF again.

Just a little note to myself, and also maybe to others who use mineral makeup and end up looking shiny way before they should. Remember to BUFF the foundation into your skin, and not just brush it on. Yes, even if you are in a hurry. Perhaps especially if you are in a hurry, because being “not shiny” covers a multitude of sins, and you can hurry through the other steps.

In other news, I look a lot less shiny today (and yesterday, and the day before), than I did on Sunday!

Do you remember those segments Jay Leno used to do, “Found on eBay”? Like the grilled cheese sandwich with “Jesus” on it?? There were a couple of other ones, too, that just cracked me up. Of course, I like Jay, and he cracks me up almost every night. I’d truly love to know how he votes in the election, because it’s hard to tell from his jokes–he seems to roast both sides pretty evenly, at least from my conservative perspective. But I digress. I should have a category Cass Digresses. Anyway, the subject was weird stuff on eBay. I think. Yes, looking at the title, we are clearly talking about the buying and selling of weird items. Like that cup on the left. When I checked eBay this morning, it was going for $6.01. Of course, the seller said it would be filled, but they didn’t say with what. Yeah, you can buy anything there. I saw listings that would curl your hair! Do not go unaccompanied into the “weird stuff” section of eBay. Trust me on this! That’s where Colleen listed her (in)famous “snail trail” pants.

Of course, eBay shut her auction down, which was kinda odd considering all the other stuff they sell. Maybe if she had used a listing service like iSold It, she’d be rolling in dough today. I remember the price was pretty phenomenal (at least to me) when they capped it. What is iSold It? Well, they are ebay listers. You drop your salable items off with them, and they handle all the details for you. They photograph it, list it, collect for it and ship it. Then they send you (or your favorite charity) a check. Pretty slick huh?

Let me see if I have any empty cups around here

Nice to meecha.

Okay, I’m late to the party, I know. In my defense, while I haven’t had my head buried in the sand this past ten years, I have been pretty daggone busy. When the HP books first rolled off the presses, I heard they were full of magic and “bad stuff”, and I took that at face value, and since there are so many good books in the world, I said the kids couldn’t read them until I did, and that is how the matter stood. They had plenty of other books to read, and so I did not make it a priority to get these books read.

Then TheClone came home, and she said they were good books. And the the youth pastor said he wasn’t going to advise for or against HP, but he did have a problem with people bashing HP and promoting Tolkein, because after all, magic is magic, if that’s what we are basing the bashing on. Hmmm. Now that was a thought right there. Clearly one needs to be discerning.

And then Country was ready for the next year of Ambleside and The Hobbit was on the assigned reading list. And I assigned it without blinking.

Uh-oh.

And so that is how I came to be reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. I;m linking it so far, all the way up to page 38. In fact, I got mad at my dentist this morning for NOT keeping me waiting. So, please excuse my relative brevity here. I am trying to get my work all done so I can go read.

I have been wanting to try the new Lash Blast mascara since I saw the commercials with Queen Latifah. Last Friday, when dh and I were at the store, I saw it, packaged with eye shadow trios. I believe I might have mentioned that I love me some eyeshadow. And the colors were so purdy, ya’ll. So I asked for it, and I got it, and girls, it’s good. It’s practically as good as the commercial says it is. Go get some. It’s the one in the orange tube, so you can’t miss it at the store.

why is it that sometimes I sit down to write here, and the words just come, and it’s like there are a couple of you sitting right here with me, and we are just chatting like friends, and the words just flow and then the post is done, yay! Too easy. And sometimes, I sit down to write and it seems like the computer is an endless box of white that I must fill but I don’t know how or even why and never mind what, and there is only thought in my brain, and not words. Images, but vague like a watercolor painting, old and faded and left too long in the sun, no detail, just impressions.

Guess which one I am today.

I even said something witty to dh in the shower this morning. I mean it was witty enough that I almost followed it with “and that’s why I’m a writer”, and now I don’t remember what it was. But it was funny. I know because he laughed when I said it.

By the way, have I mentioned that I now have a somewhat normal sleeping schedule? In bed at a decent hour, up (relatively for me) early? Yeah. Kinda cool, that. It’s been that way for a couple weeks now. I go to bed. I sleep. I wake up. I work. I hang with the fam. I go to bed. I sleep. I wake up……… Nice.

Ok, that’s about the end of my inspiration. Unless you know of some sort of writing Viagra, spelling Cialis, or linguistic Levitra, I’m done.

Have I mentioned that I love a shoe? I do! Also, lipstick and eyeshadow, and the feel of silk, but I’m digressing. Of course, you may remember the photo pf me wearing 2 different peep toe wedges. Or the one of me with 4 different shoes. Or the one with three pairs of clogs. And then the one of the clothes I bought the day of Papa’s funeral, with the shoes (unmentioned, but clearly loved because they were) on top (of the clothes). And then there is the pair of brown spike heel snake-skin look pumps I bought weekend before last. I love a shoe.

So! It was with great trepidation and much lust that I visited InfinityShoes.com today. Oh, have I mentioned that I have been rather firmly requested to avoid shopping for clothes (including shoes) of any kind until after the Indy 500 as a result of the shopping spree that included those luscious brown pumps? And have I also mentioned that my daughters love shoes, too? And that all our birthdays are just around the corner? That’s right; June, July and August, just in time for me to get placed by on clothes restriction until the Race for the Chase is over.

It would most likely be worth it, though, because will you just look at this shoe? And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It is truly delectably dangerous ground for a girl like me! They have tsubo shoes, seychelles shoes, minnetonka boots and several other brands, and plenty of ways to spoil your birthday gal. And also yourself.

P.S. I wear a size 8. And my birthday is toward the end of July. I’ll wait by the mailbox. Don’t disappoint me.

If the statement, ‘You are what you eat’ was true, I would be a _______.

What is the most important thing in any relationship?

Hmm, is cup of coffee totally not an edible? Ok, I would be a frozen entree, so everyone would know exactly how many calories were in me, and this would help them in their weight loss goals.

One piece of music? It would definitely have to be one that was religious in nature. Perhaps “I’m Going Home”.

Commitment and Discipline. More than emotion, more than fun, more than sex, the decision to stick with it, and the guts to continue in that decision no matter what are the most important things.