You know what I need? I need the Wee Sing Bible Songs book and cd. I need it for Sunday School, and I have needed it for several months. Buy you know what else? I never get to town. And when I DO get to town, I am in a hurry or with my mother who is on a hurry, or can’t find it.

Now, I happen to know the words to the song I am teaching the children (don’t pat me on the back too much, it’s just the books of the Bible), but they need to start practicing with the music. Otherwise…well, would you want to stand up in fromt of the congregation leading a group of kids who had only just heard the music to the song they’d been singing for months? Nope, didn’t think so. I’ll probably end up ordering the book from christianbook, but that only solves the current problem, and not the bigger issue.

The bigger issue is that I have once again managed to put off spending time on myself, and I know that when I do that, I start to get frayed at the edges. I’ve been working really hard lately at remaining on a more even keel, and that does require some recharging of my own batteries. Also, you need to know that football season is coming up, and I will be scheduled 3 nights a week plus Saturdays from August fourth until at least Thanksgiving and possibly Christmas. Here’s our poll:

Will Cass or will Cass not make it to New Year’s without blowing a gasket? Is the likelihood of achieving that goal significantly increased by planning down time for herself, by herself? Is she smart enough yet to make that a priority item?

Well, boys and girls, it’s time to start thinking about September. See, in September, I am going on a trip. I am going to Orlando to hang with people I like and try to avoid people I don’t, and right now, I am not quite sure how many of each there will be, but I am sure that the wonderfulness of being with those I do will outweigh the stress of seeing those I don’t. How’s that for a round about thing??

Anyway, the big decision is how to get there. I was going to ride wih a friend, but now I am not sure if she’s still planning to drive, so I am looking at flights and comparing them to car rental. I’ll have to calculate the cost of gasoline into the occasion, but that may be a possibility.

Advantage is offering up to a 50% discount on luxury and convertible car rentals. I’ve always wanted to drive a red convertible. Too bad that I would look like Broom Hilda before I hit the highway. Unless I wore a head scarf, which is an idea, but somehow doesn’t sound quite as fun and freewheeling. They have other car rental discounts, too. Too bad I’m not in Florida his very minute wanting to get to Ang. I could do that for a buck a day!

is do the best we can do with the information we have at the time. I’m saying this to remind myself of the truth of it.

So often in life, we find out stuff later that would have changed what we did at the time. It’s still important to keep on moving forward when that happens. We cannot change the past, period. There is not one thing we can do now make the tiniest bit of difference then. It is what it is. If we fall into the trap of second guessing ourselves, and not letting ourselves move on, then we end up missing the present as well. Then we are twice-robbed, and that doesn’t do anyone any good.

If you know you did the best you could with the knowledge you had, let it go and move on. Love now. If it matters eternally, it’s already settled.

So, then, just in the middle of my frenzied research on cholesterol and how to lower it and all that, my connection dropped. Kaput. Gone. No internets. Boooooooooooo! So I called tech support, and the lady took me through some things, and she decided I needed a new modem. She said it would be here in three days, and I said that was unacceptable, and she promised to overnight it instead, and I was unhappy, but I though I could deal with 24 hours off-line.

But on Thursday, guess what came? That’s right: NOTHING. So I called the competitor, who I;d been considering switching to anyway, and they made me a pretty nice offer, and said they’d have an installer out Friday. And they did, and life was good. I got back on line just in time to go camping, which picture you saw.

And then on Monday, my cousin and I were finalizing plans via email for a face to face midway between her place and mine for Sunday when she wrote, “and Grandma is in the hospital”. Well, it didn’t look real good about Grandma, we knew she would not be recovering, and we emailed through the week, and I was a bit distracted, and that is what was going on in that mostly silent week between the SPS’s. Check email, switch the laundry, check email, fix food, eat, check email. On Friday, we postponed our face-to-face, knowing that our aunt who was to join us would not want to leave her mother.

Saturday, I spent with Mama, and we had a good time, as we always do. We shopped like lunatics, and I bought more crack shoes. Behold the gloriousness of high heel platform wing tip mary janes:

And then I came home, and compulsively checked my email for a few hours. And Sunday, there was church, and a trip to Granny’s to give her some pictures, and more compulsive email checking. My cousin called early this morning, and Grandma died last night. We will be having a face to face this week after all, because she will be buried tomorrow, beside Papa, who was buried just 8 short weeks ago. It’s been a rough year for grandparents, ya know?

My emotions are so mixed here. I have never been close to Grandma, for a variety of reasons that are really no longer here nor there. There are lessons learned as there always are. And in this case more than any of the others, there are the lingering “what ifs”. There is a hurt and confused little girl in here, trying to make peace with a past that even the grownup me doesn’t understand.

I guess that just about catches us up, now, doesn’t it?

So, the last actual and real talk-about-me post was the one I made after my mammogram. What I failed to mention that day was that I also had blood drawn for a bunch of standard tests that they do to ladies-who-are-becoming-old. Haha, let me tell you something, 40 is young. Very, very young, and also, you are finally smart enough to know that! But back to the blood work, I didn’t mention it, because I figured it was a non-issue. After all, I am watching what I eat, I’ve been exercising a little bit, and life ought to be cruising right along. Right? Wrong.

They called me on Wednesday to let me know that I have high cholesterol. It was 215, which is not real far over the line, but my ldl was 129. Stop eating fried and fatty foods the man says. Exercise the man says. Umm, I’m not eating fried and fatty foods, and I have been exercising, so….. now what? Come back in four months for a recheck. Ummmmkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Well.

So. I had a little meltdown. A minor freakout. Because I was already limiting my food choices to try to adhere to the food pyramid and get the rest of this weight lost, and now I am even more limited, because I have to avoid saturated fats and dietary cholesterol, and WHOA, just when I thought I had a grip on the food thing, BAM! Haha, joke’s on me.

And the foods I have to avoid are not necessarily the ones you would think! For instance, when it comes to cutting saturated fat and cholesterol, bacon grease is a better choice than butter. Yeah, that shocked me, too. Nuts are a better choice than beef. But chicken and fish are pretty much awesome, and you can even have fried chicken IF you choose canola oil for your frying. Microwave popcorn is a no-no, but you can pop your own on the stove using olive or canola oil (or bacon grease ), and then season it to taste with any spice you like. Bonus point: if you burn it, you don’t have to evacuate the premises and risk being drummed out of the family. And you can still eat whatever doesn’t stick.

The upshot of all that is that I am tracking food as outlined on the food pyramid, except I have a whole huge chart thing that includes the calories, the saturated fat and the cholesterol. Yep, it now takes almost as much time to chart my food as it does to eat it. Yay me.

And that was June 11th.

That’s what it is, time to blog. After all, a girl can’t stay away on vakay forever, now can she? No, she cannot. You’ll notice that I said part one up there in the title. I don’t know how far I will get tonight, but I though I might begin to tell ya’ll where I have been. Before I do that, I want to take a minute to mention a fairly local business.

We have a lot of what I like to call local celebrities around here. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean–folks or businesses that all the folks you normally associate with IRL know, but that if you step outside your comfort zone may not be so well known. Around here, we have Paul’s Place for hot dogs (known for at least 50 miles in every direction) and we have the two men who were mayor of the two cities I spend my time in for more years than I can count, but who were recently “replaced” by those of a more northern persuasion (insert eye roll).

And then we have businesses that are aiming to make a name for themselves far beyond the immediate area. Bruce Cavenaugh is one such entity, and I say entity, because that name belongs to both a person and business. Bruce Cavenaugh (the business) wants to be known as the place to go for used cars Wilmington, NC. With the price of gas these days, and the need many people have to move into smaller vehicles, it can actually make sense to travel a couple of hundred miles to get a sweet deal on a good used car. And that’s a fine reason to come see Bruce and his cars, but there’s another one that’s maybe even more compelling to me lately: in a day when I can hardly drive from point a to point b without running over 48-11 yankees, Bruce Cavenaugh (the person) has one major advantage over the competition. He’s a native, and he still sounds like it. Just click the link to hear a short clip and hear for yourself.

Okay, it’s time to get started with the updates, but I will let that be another post. I think we can safely go back to the 11th-ish of June and go from there. Relax, it won’t be a post per day, LOL!