So, then, just in the middle of my frenzied research on cholesterol and how to lower it and all that, my connection dropped. Kaput. Gone. No internets. Boooooooooooo! So I called tech support, and the lady took me through some things, and she decided I needed a new modem. She said it would be here in three days, and I said that was unacceptable, and she promised to overnight it instead, and I was unhappy, but I though I could deal with 24 hours off-line.

But on Thursday, guess what came? That’s right: NOTHING. So I called the competitor, who I;d been considering switching to anyway, and they made me a pretty nice offer, and said they’d have an installer out Friday. And they did, and life was good. I got back on line just in time to go camping, which picture you saw.

And then on Monday, my cousin and I were finalizing plans via email for a face to face midway between her place and mine for Sunday when she wrote, “and Grandma is in the hospital”. Well, it didn’t look real good about Grandma, we knew she would not be recovering, and we emailed through the week, and I was a bit distracted, and that is what was going on in that mostly silent week between the SPS’s. Check email, switch the laundry, check email, fix food, eat, check email. On Friday, we postponed our face-to-face, knowing that our aunt who was to join us would not want to leave her mother.

Saturday, I spent with Mama, and we had a good time, as we always do. We shopped like lunatics, and I bought more crack shoes. Behold the gloriousness of high heel platform wing tip mary janes:

And then I came home, and compulsively checked my email for a few hours. And Sunday, there was church, and a trip to Granny’s to give her some pictures, and more compulsive email checking. My cousin called early this morning, and Grandma died last night. We will be having a face to face this week after all, because she will be buried tomorrow, beside Papa, who was buried just 8 short weeks ago. It’s been a rough year for grandparents, ya know?

My emotions are so mixed here. I have never been close to Grandma, for a variety of reasons that are really no longer here nor there. There are lessons learned as there always are. And in this case more than any of the others, there are the lingering “what ifs”. There is a hurt and confused little girl in here, trying to make peace with a past that even the grownup me doesn’t understand.

I guess that just about catches us up, now, doesn’t it?