You know, I understand that many of you came here yesterday, and read what I wrote, and then didn’t know what to say to it. And I am okay with that. I didn’t really have an agenda beyond just getting it out there, out of me.
See, the other day, I was sitting here trying to pull myself out of the muck; berating myself, actually, for wallowing in my mental mire. And I remembered a friend looking me dead in the eye after he found out Grandma had died, and saying “it will take you a year to get over what has happened to you”, and I remembered thinking that I really hoped that wasn’t true, because, oh my word, who wants to live confused and hurt for a year!
But it was only in the past week that I was able to say to me, “ya know, there may be a reason you aren’t totally on your game. Pull yourself together and get over it might not be the best possible advice you can give yourself right now.”
And that was when I was finally able to admit it had been a bad year. Yep, three deaths, financial disaster, and yes, more stuff that I am not ready to blog about yet, and I was still trying to tell myself to just suck up and deal. We truly are our own worst critics, aren’t we?
Let’s begin at the beginning, shall we? Hi, my name is Cass, and I am depressed. The good news is, I don’t plan to stay this way.