Day 15 of Project 365

On this day, I did something for myself. I believe I have told you that I really enjoy being a girl. I like the perfume and the makeup and the clothes and the shoes, Lord HELP ME! The SHOES! But I also like umm, uh, shhhhhh, don’t tell anyone: jewelry. Now, all my life, I have waited for men to give me jewelry: my dad, my husbands. And folks, there has just not been a lot of jewelry in my past. So today, I did something I have only done one time before in my life, when I was 16 years old. Today, I went to the jewelry counter at work, and I selected real jewelry for myself, not costume stuff, and I put it on layaway. Here’s the proof:


And that felt so good, ladies and gentlemen, that I went back the next day and put the chocolate pearls I lusted after but did not get on layaway as well.

A girl who waits on men to buy her baubles is often bauble-less. Especially if she refuses to tell men that her cold black heart is actually warmed by bits of coal that have been under heat and pressure and other rare natural resources. Ahem. This gal isn’t waiting anymore.

And how did I get to this place where I am finally able to do a nice thing for myself? That’s an interesting story as well. Cause I pondered it a while and I think I figured it out. You know how when you know somebody who is in a bad situation, and they can do something to change it but they don’t, you love them and pity them, but you are also kind of revolted that they keep choosing abuse instead of freedom? I’m thinking that the part of me that knows what is right and normal was revolted by the part of me that allowed abuse to continue in my life. Lately, I have repeatedly chosen freedom over abuse and I am liking myself again. I am finally beginning to see me as my long term friends see me. And folks, I do have some amazing friends, truly amazing, who have stood by me in this long cold barren winter of mine, and loved me consistently, not because of what they saw in me at that minute, but because they knew the real me was still in there somewhere. I’m looking at you, Ang. And you, Guitar Guy. And you, That One. Thanks for the big thaw, the electric blanket of steadfast, never wavering support. I love you guys. But you ain’t wearing my new rocks 😈