Not Complacent, Complaisant

I have had that word said to me twice in the past few days. I was asked “what’s wrong?” and I replied “nothing,why?” and got “You’re awful complacent” both times. I thought at first the speaker had selected the wrong word. Complacent has a negative connotation to me. And at the time, I was really struggling to come to grips with some things mentally and emotionally, and I was feeling anything but my definition of complacent. I was actively working to adjust some attitudes and accept some limitations and deal with this present reality of mine.

And so, I decided maybe I would look up complacent and now I am thinking that I misheard. The word he used wasn’t complacent, which generally means smug and self-satisfied and made no sense in context. It was complaisant, which means

inclined or disposed to please; obliging; agreeable or gracious; compliant; showing a desire to comply or oblige; polite

And maybe it also means ceasing to struggle to change what is not within your power to change, accepting a thing just as it is, letting go of a desire or perception for the benefit of another. Just maybe. And that can be some very hard mental and emotional work.

Kinda like The Serenity Prayer, you know? Not trying to get a Honda Rancher 350 from a Volkswagon.