How to Capture my Heart

Now I understand why it’s called a challenge. I have no idea how to answer this question, because it’s never been done on a lasting basis. Dang if that’s not hard to admit.

1. Talk to me. Ask me questions and then *listen* while I answer. No, really listen. Patiently. Not like you can’t wait for me to shut up so you can get on to something important. And do be willing to wait while I think about your question. I’m an introvert, I have to write the answer in my head before I can speak it with my tongue. If your question is complicated, that could take a minute. I’m not ignoring you. I’m working. And if you were actually looking at me while you were talking to me, you would know that.

2. Feed me. I don’t care if you cook it for me or with me. It can come from a fancy-pants restaurant, it can come from Burger King (but not McDonald’s), it can come from a slushie stand on the sidewalk. If you want my heart, feed me. Not because I am hungry, but because it is a language I understand.

3. Accept service. Let me get you a drink, or make you a sandwich, or rub your back. I’m offering because I care about you. Accepting acknowledges and receives that care. Rejecting service tells me you don’t want the drink, the sandwich, or the back rub, but it also tells me you don’t want me.

4. Tell me stories. Tell me about your day, your life, your dreams, and worries. That’s what friends do, and you absolutely cannot win my heart without winning my friendship.

5. Do what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it. In fact, you could skip the saying part, and just do. But don’t lie. That doubles my trouble, because if you tell me you have my back on something, I am going to expect that you have my back, and I am crossing it off my list. If you don’t follow through, then I get bitten in the ass times two. Ugh!

6a. Take me places. it doesn’t matter where. And it doesn’t have to be often. But never taking me anywhere that you might run into friends or family tells me you are ashamed to be seen with me. I don’t give my heart to anyone who makes me feel like a dirty little secret. 6b. Make room for me in your life. Love is spelled t i m e.

7. Stimulate my mind. Read to me, discuss ideas and philosophies, be able to draw and defend analogies. Think critically, explore new intellectual territory, ask questions that don’t have a right answer. If I am thinking about what you said last week, I am thinking about *you* saying something, and then my mind will wander to other things about you. Go ahead, make me think. Everything that will ever happen between us starts in my head.

8. Bring me presents. Not spendy ones, just ones that let me know I’m on your mind. A line or two of verse. A joke you found on the internet. A picture you just took with your phone. It is so easy to reach out today…. so do it. I got 99 ways to get your message, but silence ain’t one.