Well, there it is in all it’s wiggly-jigglyness. I’m like Santa in that I shake when I laugh like bowl full of jelly. I’m not ashamed of it, but that doesn’t mean I like it. And it’s not the size that bothers me. It’s that I feel weak which we discussed yesterday. At least I think I discussed it here. It may have been in my journal. Nope, I checked. Right here.

So, I did actually sit last night and think about what I want to do. I had a pretty good routine going through the summer and I really liked it. Not the exercising part, but the endorphin rushes and pushing myself. And the day I moved my fully loaded cubbies from one place in my room to another was a very empowering moment. I was STRONG, and I was confident. And I really, really enjoyed that. But I am not strong anymore, nor do I have any confidence in my physical abilities, beyond the knowledge that I did this just a few months ago. That’s a thing I want to change.

You will note that I do not have my weight anywhere in this post. That’s because I don’t know what it is. Nor do I really care very much. I did not lose more than a couple of pounds last time, but my clothes fit better, and I felt better. See, that’s the thing. How I feel. Exercise makes me feel strong. It makes me tired so that I sleep well. When I sleep well, everything else falls naturally into place. Exercise also allows me to process stress. When I do that, I am less grumpy and generally a more pleasant person to be around. Since I spend more time with me than I spend with anyone else, I’d like to be less grumpy, so I can enjoy me more.

Here’s the plan. I am going with the squat challenge..

In fact, that is the exact image I have pasted into my notebook. I’ll use that same number for squats, crunches, reverse crunches, calf raises, and jumping jacks. I will do 10% of that number for push-ups. I’ll convert numbers to seconds for plank, reverse plank, wall sit, superman, and bridge. Then 50% of that for side planks and V-sit. These are all elements that I used before, but this will be the first time I am starting everything at once.

The one thing I am worried about is my left shoulder. It did not enjoy supporting my weight before, and I had to alter my routine to accommodate that. I decided to accommodate from the get-go this time, so hopefully it will not be a problem.

I plan to exercise four days per week, because that’s the number of times I could find a two hour block in the schedule. I will want time to stop sweating and shower before the next agenda item rolls up on me.

And can I just say? Am I allowed to say? I just want to put out there that when I look at these pictures, they aren’t that bad. I’d like my arms to be firmer and my butt to be a bit rounder, but other than that, I’m not displeased.