Tonight, I pulled from the storage ottoman beside my bed some stuff I had stuffed in there. I had one mascara, one eyeliner, and nine (Yes, NINE, I counted them, and I also have pictorial proof!) brand new eye shadow palettes. Some of them were about six months old, and some of them, I confess, had been in that ottoman for over a year. I’d bought those new shadows because I was tired of my old colors, which are now several years old, and no longer even vaguely fashionable. But for some reason, I felt like I had to use up all the old stuff first. All the old stuff. Every bit of every color in every palette I already had. People, it’s all frosted. It’s that old and that unfashionable. And no, I am not mistaking the word “frosted” for the word “glittery”. Today, frosted is foolish, but glittery is glam. My current mascara starts the morning on my lashes, but finishes the evening on my cheeks. So attractive. The new is waterproof! It was a shake my head moment. Tomorrow, I am wearing new. I’m going to own that stuff I bought.

Just so you know, I also keep my slinky nighties in that ottoman, but I won’t be wearing those any time soon. I share my room with my two youngest girls, and I have three young sons. Besides, I sleep alone. Well, I start out alone, but I usually have a girl child or two in the bed by morning. Negligees are not quite what I need to be wearing to bed these days, but I keep them close by because it makes me feel good to have them there. Miracles might still happen, after all. The kids *might* be visiting their dad the night Prince Charming leaps out of the picture in the storybook.

Now, like most women, I also have clothes in my closet with the tags still on. Nice things. Things I bought because I loved them, and they looked fabulous on me and I had to have them. And I hung them up and I looked at them every day, but I never wore them. And shoes. Oh my goodness, the shoes. I love shoes. I have three pairs of flip-flops, five pairs of sneakers, four pairs of clogs, four pairs of flats, eleven pairs of medium heels, thirteen pairs of how-do-you-even-walks and two pairs of house shoes. Unless I miscounted, and this is a distinct possibility. That’s a lot of shoes! But every day, I dress for school in jeans and sensible shoes for walking across campus really fast. But I have those shoes and clothes! They are “for special”, you see. I can’t risk getting them messed up. So, I leave the good stuff, even if it came from Goodwill, in the closet as if I, alone by myself doing the normal things that I do, am not special. They are mine, even if I don’t really own them. Well, from now on, it’s all going to come from Goodwill unless I have to have something very specific right now, and I am going to wear whatever I want, whenever I want (except the nighties, right?). I’m going to own my shoes and my clothes, and if I do spill on it or rip it or whatever, so what? It only cost five bucks or less, and someone will donate another one soon. It will be there when I need it or want it, just like all these other great pieces were.

But I started with the freezer, so let’s get on back to that. In the bottom of the freezer were two bags of boiled peanuts, one of which my grandmother had “put up” for me in 1987. Boiled peanuts do not last for twenty-five years in the freezer, not even if your Grandmother put them up. I heated them the next day, and we tried to eat them, and ended up throwing them away. Oh, I cried. If I had just eaten them when she gave them to me, I could have enjoyed them. I love boiled peanuts, and Grandmother knew that. She gave me a gift of her time and labor and I saved it until it spoiled. What a waste!

In the top of that freezer was a double chocolate cake that I had been saving for “special”, too. The kids and I ate it up tonight. In fact, I took a break from this writing so we could. It was good. They were happy. So was I. We owned that cake. Yes, it’s gone now, but we owned it, because how do you own what you never touch or wear or eat? That’s possession, and there is a difference.

Are you guys tired of knitting books yet? I hope not, because we have 5 more to go. Not feeling it today? Ok, me either. What I am feeling today is an urge to scrap. Getting “paid” every 6 months also means new craft stuff every 6 months, and I spent money on scrapping supplies this time.

When I moved my desk to its new area, I was forced to confront 2 bins of photos. Plus the trunk in the living room that I use as a coffee table. Plus the one I use as an end table. Yeah, it’s time to get that dealt with. So far, I have purchased 4 scrapbooks (all at steals–A.C. Moore was having a 2 for $10 sale), and 380 sheets of 12×12 paper (for a grand total of $30). I am ready! I still have a lot of 8.5 x 11 paper, but I haven’t been able to find a scrapbook in that size for quite awhile. Of course, I haven’t really scrapped in 10 years, so…..yeah. The good news is that I made three pages the other day, and I fell in love with it all over again.

I’ve given myself permission to do things a bit differently this time. When I scrapped before, I had far fewer children. Those kids have very complete books up to the time I stopped scrapping, because every time I got prints made, I scrapped a set for each kid AND a set for myself. Holy crap, right? I’ve doubled my kid count, and that’s….the mind boggles: EIGHT sets of prints, plus papers and books and adhesives and cutouts, and NO.

From now on, with rare exceptions, I am doing one scrapbook. Ok, two. One family and one personal. (Yes, I have to do a personal one because I still can’t remember stuff. If I don’t record it, then it didn’t happen. Yes, that’s still very frustrating. Yes, I am learning to adapt.) When the kids get older, they can copy whatever pages they want. Otherwise, I am not going to scrap at all, and that means the stories I know die with me and that is not acceptable.

Don’t think I am morbid, I am just realistic. When Grandmother died, and we cleaned out her house, there were a lot of pictures. Mama knows who is in some of them, but not all of them. Grandmother kept them in boxes, and some have names written on the back, but not all of them. The ones that have names and/or people we recognize have no dates and no stories to go with the images. So that’s the motive behind my scrapbooks. They will tell my stories to my children when I am no longer able to do so. And not just the stories behind the pictures wedding photographers raleigh nc took. The everyday, nothing-special-is-happening pictures that I make myself, mostly because something DID just happen, so I took a picture to remind myself to write that story down for my kids.

I got a new-to-me van.

I took up fishing.

I read some books.

I studied.

I earned 2 more A’s.

I got a dog.

I signed up for several of those store loyalty cards. I like them because I get stuff for free just for buying stuff I need. Kinda like the dropdowndeals promo codes, except it takes gas.

And I decided to try blogging again. Yeah.

The only thing that one is missing is a way to play it on a stereo, LOL!

June 28 Ouch So, forget the thing about not being able to walk and chew bubble gum at the same time. Apparently, I can’t even *talk* and chew gum. I was walking to the car with Drama, and she spoke to me and I looked at to answer her and sprained my ankle on a depression in the sand in my yard. Not even an actual hole, people. A depression. Only marginally less embarrassing that getting caught reading colonix reviews by my kids.

June 29 Oops I guess that when I spend the day blogging, I kinda forget the picture taking. Sorry.

June 30 Dead This is what my roses looked like when I got back to the garden shop last week. That just aggravates me to no end!! I did figure out why later in the week, though. Apparently the young man they are putting in there while I am gone did not understand that you water plants gently. He was using the power wash setting. Yeah, on my flowers. No wonder they looked beat and bedraggled and dead and ruined.

July 1 Buttons for a Baby Sweater Pretty self explanatory, right?

July 2 Sleeping I absolutely love it when I get to come home to see this. I could try to explain that, but I won’t bother. But it’s totally worth sleeping on the couch for!

In other news, I have ordered a copy of The Artist’s Way. I met with my friend last night and we plan to work through it and help hold each other accountable. I’m a little intimidated and a lot excited. And a little perplexed about how in the world I am going to write three pen and paper pages of stuff per day and still write here, too. I’ll figure it out when the book gets here, I guess.

In yet other news, I ordered Fluffer Phone yesterday. I’m expecting it to be delivered tomorrow. I’ll be playing with it this weekend. My inner geek is very happy about that. I’m expecting a list of must-have apps for it from The DJ sometime today, too!

Let’s see….what else? I am sure there was more, but with my brain simmering like this it’s hard to think. Really hard to think.

June 6 New Black HatThis is my new black dress hat. On me. In church. Muhahahahaha! I felt very classy and very tall, since I was also wearing high heels. I musta been 5’8″, at least!

June 7 One to play in I liked this one, too, and it was on sale, so I bought it. Six bucks and matches half my wardrobe. The blue one like this that I bought a few days later was also six bucks and matches the other half. Yay me!

June 8 Graduation Day Drama graduated from Kindergarten!!

June 9 So proud Stuntman started and finished elementary school this year, capturing the highest award given at the school. He’s somethin’, ain’t he?

May 17 Mary Jane Shoes It is no secret that I have a shoe issue, right? Didn’t think so. You know I love sky high heels, but I also have a thing for Mary Janes. I like to wear them with cute socks. And on this day, I did. Whenever I wear Mary Janes, I sing Fergie’s song to myself as I go about my day. It perfectly captures the beautiful irony of wearing this kind of shoe as an adult. It reminds me to be young, and makes me feel all grown up at the same time. And what could possibly go wrong when you are wearing your Mary Jane Shoes? I think the next pair of shoes I buy will be sky high Mary Janes.

May 18 Coloring Time Batman had an appointment on this day, and so while we waited DaBaby and I colored a picture. We teased each other about her side of the page and my side of the page. I love this age, when they are learning about social exchanges, and sharing, and all that good stuff. Sigh. I miss being the main one to teach her these things.

May 19 Shoe Shopping But not for me. I took Diva to buy the shoes for her dance on the 19th. I knew I wasn’t there for me, but I just had to try this pair on anyway. I ended up going back to get them a week or so later. Is anyone surprised by this? No? Didn’t think so.

May 20 More Roses Have I mentioned I like flowers? These three roses, all a different color, were growing on the same bush. I said “get out!!” and took the picture, because I knew no one would believe me without it.

Say, do you reckon walking in tall heels qualifies as a natural fat burner? I mean you have to use good posture and hold yourself tight from knees to waist…..that oughta be worth something, right?

May 1 My other new hat I am totally buying this one, too. On Saturday, it shall be mine. And I will be wearing a hat and ridiculous shoes to church on Sunday. Period. Because I can rock a hat and the pictures prove it.

May 2 Do they make this in Hot Wheels? Cause, this truck, it is totally suh-weet, and I want one.

May 3 Oops Sometimes it happens.

May 4 Grandmother’s rose is blooming This is the rose bush in my yard. I planted it in honor of Grandmother the summer after she died. Interestingly enough, I woke up Christmas morning to find one perfect bloom at the very top of it. But this picture is actually from like, 3 weeks ago, just like the date says. I didn’t snap the other one. When I took this, there were actually 5 roses on the bush, all fully opened and stunning. Which I know doesn’t sound like a lot, but there are still only 2 real stems on my “bush”.

May 5 Butterfly Again, I shoot what I see, and on this day, I saw an orange butterfly on a very red car and it amused me.

You must pick one up. Use the money you would have spent on anti wrinkle crème if you must, because this baby is so good, it will take years off your face. No frown lines left at all, seriously. Wonderful chocolate, wrapped around the sweetest, softest caramel ever. I got this one free when the clerk at Walgreens forgot to ask me if I wanted one, then I bought two more. And now I can’t find them anywhere. And I am seriously Jonesin’ over this candy bar. If you see them, will you send me some?