Oh, a freezer that’s too warm and a dryer that’s too cold……maybe I will just plug them in to each other somehow! Oh, I slay me!

My Awesome Boyfriend is definitely on the rebound, and he is keeping me hopping. The past couple of nights, he has decided to bark for a couple of hours after I crate him for the night. This is not fun for me, so Operation Puppy Exhaustion is underway around here. I might have over done it a bit this morning: when I brought him in from our walk, he was too tired to lick peanut butter off a fork. I laughed so hard I nearly needed incontinence products. I assure you, he kept up and acted like he wanted to go further while we were outside!

In other news, my yard looks disgusting and I can’t keep the lawnmower running. Blech.

I however, am snugged up in my house with a the laptop and coffee and a head full of ideas for writing. Actually, I have a head full of tornado for writing, and I am trying to get some chores done so I can sit down with pen and paper and figure out what’s in there! And I am wearing sweats, not scrub pants, because, did I mention it is cold?

I am off this week, which is a pleasant surprise, so I am hoping to get a lot of stuff done. This past week I worked full time, and was in bed before 10 every night. Consequently, there was zero creative effort and minimal housework. I made good strides in the house arena over the weekend, but I am really feeling the itch to do something a little more left brain today. I’m in my favorite mood: high energy, high focus. Now, I just have to pin something down. But I think I said that.

Maybe a short story, about a girl looking for where to buy cheap scrubs and changing her mind and going with animal fur because it’s flipping freezing! And PETA could find out and go crazy and there would be lots of cute baby seal pictures and so on and so forth. Err, maybe not. I’ll get more coffee and think a bit more, k?

June 18 Baby Got Back Sorta. On this day, I slid into 2 pairs of jeans that I slid right back down my hips without unfastening, and then I pulled out these size 6 Levi’s. When I looked in the mirror, there was this thing behind that looked like it wanted to be a butt eventually. Like, when it grew up and stuff. Since I hadn’t seen anything like that on myself in months, I recorded the moment for posterity. And I will be buying some more of these britches in this size.

June 19 Six kid pile-up Here you see a lot of fun going on. This is the kid from down the street with five of my kids piled on top of him. Who knows why, but there was a lot of laughter and play shrieking going on, so I snapped it for ya.

June 20 Not an oops But it almost was. I had gone to bed when I remembered that I had not taken a picture. So I took one. Of the Christmas lights that hang behind the curtains in my room. Am I too old to refer to them as “fairy lights”? No, I don’t think so either.

June 21 Shirt I didn’t buy I almost bought this shirt for That One, because he loves to fish, and he frequently tell me about his nemesis, a huge fish that refuses to take his bait. They are old frenemies, he and this fish. But I didn’t get it because we decided $5 was too much to spend on a fishing shirt. Cause we are frugal beasts.

June 22 A Purple Spidey I love this kid and how he rawks this ‘hawk. He’s something else!

June 10 Four feet of counter Yep, I found it. And then I lost it again, at least once per day. But I keep refinding it, so that’s progress of sorts, right?

June 11 Freedom Party On this day, I had a little party. My divorce had become final the week before this, and I wanted to have a party to celebrate, but I thought it would probably be wrong to do that while the children were home, so I waited. And also, there were bff birthdays in March that I never did anything about because I was waiting for the divorce to throw the party, and in the meantime, sections of my unfamily divested themselves of me in a very public way, and so, I truly was finally free.

Is it awful that my major emotional response was relief? I clearly wasn’t imagining things all my life, my feelings were validated and those involved can finally all quit pretending to be something we aren’t. Let me be perfectly clear here: I am only speaking of those who were specifically involved. Does anyone need a dictionary to understand that? And the weirdest part was that they were so concerned that I had talked about them in the first place, when I really only talked about me, and no one even knew we were related until they outed themselves all over my facebook page.

So, this picture is of my lop-sided but delicious Strawberry Tall Cake, which you should really go read about. But come right back, cause I’m not done!

We did indeed have a party. I almost said “bangin’ time”, but that would be too easily misconstrued. Here’s the deal: That One, Guitar Guy and I all share very similar senses of humor. We are all quick-witted, punny and ready to see the hilarity in any given situation. We have a great deal of fun just sitting around stone-cold sober, which is how you will usually find us when we are all together. On this particular night, That One stopped by the ABC store and bought so much liquor that he had to have a permit to bring it to the house, and oh my word!! He went home with most of it, but in the meantime, we found out that he is a *very* capable bar tender, and that when he drinks a bit, he’s even funnier than usual. Madea was in da house, and if you’ve never heard a big white man impersonate a big crazy black woman, you should come to my next party. And it went on for hours, people! Hours! We kicked off about 6pm, and I think I crashed around 4am.

On a more serious note, it was a very fitting closure for me to celebrate my personal freedom with those who have held my hand while I fought so hard for it. There was a great deal more to it than a facebook fight and a piece of paper. This little mouse of a girl has officially graduated to gerbil. I may not be standing very tall at 5 feet even, but damnitall, I’m standing! And, Ang., I really wish you could have been here with me, too. I missed you, even though I know you were here in spirit.

June 12 I want it! That One has a new hat, and I want it. He let me wear it while he was here, but alas, he left with it on his own head. Unfortunately, he found it in an ittybitty store in some town in PA. I’m hopeful that he will find another one, but not counting on it. Oh! Remember I said he was funny? So, we were talking about the hat and he looked at me and said, “yeah they had one in pink, too”. And then I said “Really!!” And he said “no”, and we both dissolved in giggles. Well, he didn’t giggle, he laughed, because boys don’t giggle.

June 13 Matches the Other Half of my Wardrobe See?

June 14 Really? I’d like to meet the person responsible for this piece of marketing “genius”, just so I could point and laugh!

May 31 Migraine Medicine On this, the 3rd day of my unsister induced migraine, I attempted a cure. The headache did not go away, but the ice cream sure was good! And easier to swallow that prenate vitamins with dha.

June 1 Day FOUR Yeah, on this day, the headache was still there, only worse. My options were to call in or wear shades all day. I opted for shades, but I had to repeatedly prove that I wasn’t hungover. The day with shades did help with the headache, and talking to Mama did away with the rest of it. Of course, the 1,600 mg of naproxen sodium I took throughout the day probably helped, too. And made me sleep like a baby, to boot.

June 2 Diva Gets A Phone Which was supposed to be for her birthday, but she did all the things she had to do to earn it and That One is a sucker for a pretty face.

June 3 Nope I didn’t buy this one, even though I love purple. It just wasn’t my look.

June 4 That One and Micheal This is absolutely one of my favorite pictures. That One rode in on his white horse and fixed the water for us, and here he is shown in the closet, pausing to explain things to Micheal and I. By that time, we’d been without running water at all for a couple-three days because of the stupid glue issue. What makes this a favorite, besides the fact that I love the people in it, is the memory associated with it.

That One and I were bantering back and forth as we usually do when we are together, laughing and joking and playing off one another. We are somewhat like Abbott and Costello or Punch and Judy, or whatever. Maybe a barrel of monkeys??? Anyway, at one point Micheal was looking back and forth and back and forth as we were horsing around and he said, “You guys are different……you’re like…….younger.” And we looked at him and laughed and said “yeah.” Because, somehow, together, we are still about 16. This is my friend.

May 26 Party Time? I have no idea, really. I walked out back to tend the plants at work, and apparently, someone had had a good time in the old garden shop the night before.

May 27 A Little Clearing I whittled this pile of assorted mail and papers down to about 4 pieces. One thing about getting behind on time sensitive stuff is that you get to throw A LOT of it away when you finally find your round tuit.

May 28 My Hand This would be the swollen hand that my unsister flicked with her acrylic nails the night she tried to fight me at our respective parent’s home. I guess she hit a nerve, because I couldn’t see a mark, but it was swollen and I couldn’t close it comfortably for a couple of days.

May 29 Hands I Love No real words needed, right?

May 30 Oooooh, baby This is the water heater That One ordered for me before he left on the 30th. You would think I would tell you that I was able to take a hot shower, but it was almost a full week before we had reliable hot water. The clerk at the store looked at all the CPVC Micheal was buying to do the installation and then sold him PVC glue to go with it. Grrrr!

Tomorrow, we return to our regularly scheduled blogging. You know, pictures I took of the life I live. It might even be possible that I will talk about them, just as I always have. I know, crazy, right?

April 26 Silly Me I just love this picture. I snapped it to make That One smile, because he was having a rough day. Those of you who are friends on facebook will recognize it. And by the way, I decided last night that I am totally buying this hat, if it’s still at the store. And also another one, which I haven’t shown you yet. Time to live some dreams, people!

April 27 Crafty Me I finished another hat. I was sure this one would be too small for him, but knitting stretches. Apparently, it stretches a lot.

April 28 Amish Cockscomb I think I spelled this right. Correct me if I am wrong, please. My Grandmother used to grow this in her flowerbeds, always red. This year, for the very first time, I saw it in other colors: this light pink, and also in cream. I wonder if the other colors have always existed, or if they have engineered them through selective breeding. Err, selective cross-pollination. Err, screwing with nature.

April 29 Working Me Yes, this is what I look like out in the garden shop. It’s not quite fashionable, I know. But so far, my crow’s feet aren’t any deeper, my face is still white, and my hair in undamaged. I’ll take it.

April 30 Leeeeezard! Yet another lizard. Hey, I shoot what I see, k? K.

And, yay, a post without drama!

April 21 Dead This, my friends is the pile of dead plants that I pulled out of the garden shop when I returned from my two weeks out of their. Clearly, someone needed to check into life insurance rates for them while I was gone. They expired from a lack of water. I continued to pull plants for about a week. At one point, I set up an intensive care nursery for the ones I thought I could save, but my manager said we didn’t have time for that, and the plants I was nurturing were thrown away. Her call, store’s loss.

April 22 DaBaby visits On the 22nd, Mama was in town and brought DaBaby by to visit me. It was lots of fun getting some midday hugs and kisses. I miss my kids a lot when I am at work.

April 23 Lizard! If you look closely in the middle of this picture, you will see a wee reptile. I see them quite often at work, but they rarely remain still long enough to take a good shot. Today, I won.

April 24 Fire the Third Hmm, they still didn’t believe me. This was the day I cleaned the living room. It still looks pretty good.

This was also the night of catharsis. I continued to cry up until this night, and most of the way through it. I cried for a lot of reasons this night. For loss and betrayal and the grown up me and the little girl me and for my children and it just went on and on and on. But when I woke up on Sunday I was a different woman. Actually, I was my old woman again. The depression that had plagued me for a very long time (years) had lifted somewhat, and that laughing, fun loving girl I used to be was clawing her way to the top. Somewhere in that night, I faced the ugly truth that a lot of really bad crap had happened to me in my life, and I grieved for it, and I tried to let it go. That’s not to say I’ve been completely perky since that point, but when I get down, it’s for a couple of hours, not….for the forseeable future. I can deal with that!

April 25 Hello Old Me You may not be able to see it in my face, but I sure can!