Midlife Musings

Reflections on life from 40-something

Shooter-March 11

March19

“Slow, Smooth, Straight, Steady, Squeeze”

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I finished Shooter on the 11th. I have no idea where this book came from, or how it ended up in my house. But That One saw it and asked to borrow it, and I told him he could have it after I read it, so it moved from “somewhere” in the TBR pile to top position.

This is an interesting book. It opens with some personal life stuff of Gunnery SGT Jack Coughlin and it ends with more personal stuff. A little getcha in the gut for the girlies. And in between all that, we get to see how a marine sniper really works, and also some awesome battle descriptions. Plenty of war for the boys.

I learned quite a few things about men and warriors from this book, because even a war story is a personal story. Soldiers generally aren’t emotionless automatons, they just learn to put that all on hold and get the job done. It’s a trait I greatly admire in men, that ability to shift emotion aside for a bit and deal only with the logic of a situation. I try it sometimes, but I generally come back to the decision my emotions have already made. I’ve noticed that this is not so for men. They will stick with that logical decision, even if it tears them up inside. And usually, you won’t know it even bothered them until later. Such insight is one of the side benefits to having a boy bff. And a….a….umm, other friend.

Those 5 S’s up above are the sniper mantra. One of the things That One says to me is “slow is fast”. We were having a series of discussions on life and complications and overwhelmed-ness. The man is wise, but I couldn’t quite figure out how he got that. I mean, I understood the explanation, but I still didn’t quite “get it” in my gut. Now I do. You prep, you plan, you get the information you need, and then you very methodically set about doing what needs to be done. The same principles that assure accuracy in a sniper also assure accuracy in dealing with life’s more daunting issues. Like dirty houses. And needy children. And stalkers. Make up your mind what you are going to do and then “Slow, Smooth, Straight, Steady, Squeeze”. A well placed round is a well placed round. Some are bullets that kill those who need killing, and some are actions that improve a life or lives. The principle is the same. But you can’t necessarily expect me to remember all that when I am emotional. I’m still a girl after all.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants a realistic account of what really happened in Iraq, instead of that left-wing media crap we were all fed. On the other hand, if the idea that people actually bleed as they die bothers you…read it anyway, because you need to understand the realities of life.

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A Walk to Remember

October28

Or my opinion on Nicholas Sparks

Recently, I have been exploring Nicholas Sparks, on the recommendation of Goober. (Don’t shoot me, he picked he name himself.) I’ve read A Walk to Remember and A Bend in the Road and I have watched The Notebook and Message in a Bottle. They’ve been interesting reads/movies and I do like this author. So far, all the stories are set in North Carolina, which is fun for me, because he is describing places I know: Outer Banks vacation homes, the smell of salt water, slow and east small town life. Of course, he lives here, so that makes sense.

Now, I have never read an author before who was so very successful in making Love a main character in his novels. Seriously. An actual character, above and beyond the actual people of the story. As I read, it was an almost separate thing, the love. And that’s the rub for me of Nicholas Sparks: Love always triumphs, and yet…..there is no happily ever after ending. The people characters always end up with little holes in their hearts, unless they die. Which is, I guess, the way Love works in real life, too. Sigh.

Ok, I’ll pass out bonus points for settings and character development. I’ll give a passing mark to plot. And I’ll take away a couple of points for making the stories too realistic, because, after all, sometimes a girl still wants to believe she could be Cinderella. And I’ll read a few more of his books when I can find them in the library.

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Book Review: The Noticer by Andy Andrews

June20

I’ve had this little book in my possesion for some time now, but I’ve let life get in the way of reading it. That happens sometimes, yk? I picked it up last Sunday afternoon, and finished it last night. Considering how little time I am able to devote to reading, that was pretty quick. I’m estimating ten to twelve hours of actual read time, max, and that was going slowly, and rereading the especially applicable parts.

51vqpd  TFL. BO2 204 203 200 PIsitb sticker arrow clickSee, The Noticer is not just a quick piece of fiction fluff, which is what I expected when I opened it. Instead, this little book is a series of life lessons. Not all of them apply to every one every time, but most of them apply to everyone at one time or another. 176 pages of learning wrapped up in a good story; my kind of book.

The Noticer begins with Jones meeting Andy. Now, I might be tempted to call Jones the main character, except he really isn’t. The main character in this book, at least to me, is the life changing perspective that Jones gives to those around him. Stuff like: you have a purpose, you can choose what you become, the best is yet to come. Simple, powerful things. I heartily recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with life, even just a little bit, and even to those who aren’t, because as Jones so wisely noticed we are all either in a crisis, coming out of a crisis or headed into a crisis.

I knew before I was 3/4 done that I would be passing this book on. As soon as I finished it (at 1 AM), I packed it up to ship to That One. I’ve already told him it’s a loaner, and when I get it back, it’s going to my cousin, who loves a good story as much as I do. Then I’ll be assigning it to a few of my kids, and then, I plan to read it again myself. It’s just that powerful.

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February 11th Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

March11

Forfebeleven

Little cheater pic I made on the 12th because I forgot to do so on the 11th. The point is that I finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on the 11th. Two weeks later, I’ve finished the last two books, though I’ve not yet formed an opinion on the last one.

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Irreplaceable

March9

I’m pretty sure it’s not secret to any of you that I am in a time of great upheaval right now. Things are just…rough. They’ll get better, but right now they just suck, and that’s how it is. So, you’d think I’d be turning my attention to funny stuff: light-hearted flicks, fluff books and just such as this. And, really, I would have. Except that I promised to review this book, Irreplaceable, before the poop hit the fan, and I got sprayed with all that foul smelling stuff.

They sayOk, I say that a well written book can pull you out of yourself, teach you something about life. I fought myself to read this one because it is a very painful story. Seriously, it begins and ends painfully and the entire middle is full of pain. But that’s just the way life is sometimes, and even in the midst of the pain, the story is beautiful, both in life and in this book. Life is beautiful, even when it hurts, because it is life. And this book is beautiful because it speaks a truth even though it is fiction.

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Irreplaceable
is well written, the characters are fully formed, very human, and the events are realistic, even in their unfathomableness. On the surface, it’s the story of an organ donor and what happens to her heart, but that short description doesn’t do the book justice. It is intensely emotional, and I cried when I read the last sentence: that’s just how they say hello. That one line sealed the book for me, because I actually have a leave taking ritual with a friend of mine–something we’ve never discussed, and I’m not even sure they know it exists, but it does for me, and that’s how I know Stephen Lovely is writing from a heart that understands motivations and desires and can adequately portray that in words that paint pictures for the mind. Irreplaceable is his first novel, and I’ll be looking to see what he writes next.

Booking Through Thursday and Project 365 Update

January8

:booking: It’s a week or two later than you’d expect, and it may be almost a trite question, but … what were your favorite books from 2008?

I think my favorite books from 1008 were the Harry Potter ones I read and The Reincarnationist. I also read Created to be His Helpmeet, and that has probably been the most practically helpful book I’ve ever read, even though I can’t say I enjoyed it. It has too many hard truths for that, but it probably kept me from divorcing my husband before I figured out his “mean-ness” was actually sickness.

Let’s Move on to the Project 365 catchup. I am really enjoying the prod to document my day this way. And yes, I do plan to develop and scrapbook the pictures. I have the materials, so the only cost will be an album and developing the prints. Pretty cheap to create a book of me, right? I may even have an album over there somewhere.

Day 6 Social Security
Day 5 Social Security

Tuesday, I took my husband to the Social Security Office to help him apply for disability. I have no idea if he will qualify or not, but i do know that he can’t work. “Change in mental status” is such a cruel phrase. It seems pretty innocent until you live with it awhile. Until you realize how much your spouse doesn’t remember anymore. Until you walk him through the steps of government paperwork.

Day 7 Ang. has Sparkly Balls
Ang. has sparkly balls

Wednesday, I went back to Wal-Mart to pick up more meds for dh. And other stuff. I had seen a Christmas wreath I wanted to make, and so I talked myself into buying the stuff for it. I justified it by saying I could spend $8 now or $32 next year, and really, $8 was so much better. When I sent the photo of the ones I was planning to use for myself to Ang., I asked her if she wanted one to, and she did and sent me paypal for these. Mine will be silver, gold and ivory. I bought the meds, materials for two wreaths, a huge roll of wrapping paper and several boxes of chocolate covered cherries for $32. QOTD: Some people love Christmas, I love the after Christmas sales.

Yes, I did text her that she had big sparkly balls as I was leaving the store. Yes, she texted back “giggle”.

There will probably be a Project 365 shot of the finished wreaths, but I have to clear off my desk office furniture to make them. Inless I use the dining room table……. NO! You know what I need? I need one of those hard top folding tables to replace my soft topped card table. That would give me a better space for puzzles, cards and all sorts of other stuff.

Some New Year’s Day Thoughts

January1

:booking:

So, as I was going through my feedreader this morning, I saw this from Booking Through Thursday:

Happy New Year, everyone!

So … any Reading Resolutions? Say, specific books you plan to read? A plan to read more ____? Anything at all?

Name me at least ONE thing you’re looking forward to reading this year!

and I decided to use it as a springboard for my yearly goal post, because, yes I do have reading goals, and lots of other goals, too.

This year, I want to read the rest of the Harry Potter books. And my TBR pile. In fact, I am going to set a lofty goal of a book per week. Crazy, right? If I aim for the moon, perhaps I will reach the stars.

This year, I want to use up the craft stuff I already have, and not buy more.

This year, I want to exercise. In fact, I want to be able to play the card squat game up to 10 cards by the end of the year. I’ll have to post a video of the card squat game so you will know that this is a serious event.

This year, I want to learn to play guitar. I have the instrument, I have the learning dvd. All that remains is to make and take the time to learn.

This year, I want to clean the house. I’ve kept hoping for something bigger, but it hasn’t happened, so this year, I am purposing to make our stuff smaller.

This year, I think I want to do project 365. I guess I need to make up my mind, huh? I used to do a photo a day, and it was a love/hate relationship for me.

This year, I want to send my kids to booty camp. They need to learn to do what they are told, come when they are called and speak when they are spoken to.

And on that note, I guess I just committed to Project 365. I may or not actually scrap the pictures in a book, but here’s the first one.

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Notice the five booty camp recruits. (The other two are not yet home from a retreat.) Notice that one girl is holding a HP book, and one is holding 10 cards. Notice that my oldest son is holding my guitar for me. Notice that the girls are sitting on the clean counter I cleared last night. Maybe I should try again. I forgot to have some one hold craft stuff.

IMG 0420

There, that’s a bit better. This time I included the craft stuff, and there are two children holding five cards each, (DaBaby lowered hers as I snapped) since I could play card squat through five cards when my nephew and sister taught it to me.

Please note that there are no goals here about money and there are no goals here about people who are beyond my control. I have no idea about my finances at this point, and I have learned that making goals that involve other autonomous people is setting yourself up for big fat failure.

IF I was to set one goal that involved others, it would be going to see Ang. this year. But that means I have to have a sitter, and a sitter falls in to the category of “other autonomous people”.

The American Patriot’s Almanac

December31

I posted over on my craft blog about the crafty calendars I got for Christmas. Man, I just love those little page-a-days, don’t you? But I also love a good hard bound book, and I’ve gotten my hands on one I think will interest some of you. It’s been sitting on my desk for three weeks or so, while I waited on my internet and computer and and and AND! I realized today is the last day of the year, so I better tell you about it, so you can go pick up your own copy. Oops!

The American Patriot’s Almanac is written by William J. Bennett and John T.E. Cribb. I ordered it because I like Bennett’s earlier works, The Book of Virtue and The Children’s Book of Virtues. I also read his book on Education, the title of which I forget and was impressed with it. In short, if Bennett is the writer, I want to be a reader.

The book has an historical entry for each day of the year. It’s a book to read one morsel at a time, provided you can make yourself slow down to do so. At the end of each month is a longer segment that explores a topic in more detail. And the introduction? Well, there are lessons in there for all of us.

I will be seriously starting this book tomorrow, as opposed to flitting around in it here and there. I’m giving Country, my (also) history buff daughter, less than 1 week to discover it on my desk and try to steal it.

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I'm Cass. I am a full-time mom to eight great children, a Christian and a blogger. I'm also a knitter, a reader and a movie watcher. And a collector of eclectic oddities.

For the first time in 18 and a half years, I have my own little corner again. Somewhere along the way, I seem to have lost myself, and now that I realize I'm missing, I'm on the look out for me. You maybe don't know what that means, but then again, maybe you do. Regardless, this is where I'll be when I'm not being a mother or a knitter. This is where I'll be just me. And if no one ever reads it, that's ok. I'll know it's here.


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