A couple of months ago, I told one of my sons that he could read a book off our bookshelf. Umm, that sounds weird. I mean he asked if he could read a book of “this shelf”, and I said yes, any shelf “over there”. It was quiet time, and I was trying to work, so I just needed him to pick a book already, any book! Read!

Anyway, he picked a book, and read it for a bout three seconds before he called out, “hey, what’s this paper?”

Well, that paper happened to be a check that my aunt had written for my cousin’s youth council dues, way back in the day. My cousin and I had served on Youth Council together in high school, and although I can no longer remember the purpose and function of the program, I do remember that we had a lot of fun going all the way to the county seat for the monthly meetings.

Can you see the huge amount of the dues? Here is a close-up:

Yeah, a whopping $5. Can you name an extra curricular activity today that costs just five bucks?

And here is another thing. My kids have never met this cousin. We were tight as tight could be all through high school, and then we had a fight one day, and never made it right, and haven’t really spoken since. Actually, that’s not even true. What really happened is that she spoke a word of truth to me that I wasn’t ready to hear, and I quit talking to her. And by the time I realized several years later that she was saying something I should hear, it was too late. I called her a while back, and she was convinced that I must want something. Of course, there was quite a bit of stuff going on in our extended family at the time, but I had no ulterior motive with my call. I just wanted to say hello.

And one more thing. I keep this picture in my bedroom. I bought it only because it looks so much like my cousin. Love you, Shirley. Miss you, still!

Wow. You know, if you spend any time at all watching the news, it sounds like a dog eat dog world out there, where no one ever helps anyone else. personally, I don’t watch the news very often for that very reason. Well, that and the fact that what I hear about Iraq is completely the opposite of what I hear from those who have actually served over there. But I digress, and we’ll have to talk about that another day.

Fortunately, the world is in much better shape that the newscasters would have us believe, and here is an example. One of the members over at the Immortality Institute has been diagnosed with cancer. Now, that’s a bad thing, and it’s a pretty serious bad thing, as I am sure you know. But here’s the deal–his online friends are coming together to help him buy the supplememts that he thinks will save his life! You can read about it on the resveratrol forum.

Now, I don’t want to debate the ideology of these folks, or even alternative medicine. I just want to point out that some people some where are still doing the right thing just because it is the right thing to do. Brian, Charles and Katie ought to talk about stuff like this a little more and murder and mayhem a little less. Just sayin’

That’s what it is, time to blog. After all, a girl can’t stay away on vakay forever, now can she? No, she cannot. You’ll notice that I said part one up there in the title. I don’t know how far I will get tonight, but I though I might begin to tell ya’ll where I have been. Before I do that, I want to take a minute to mention a fairly local business.

We have a lot of what I like to call local celebrities around here. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean–folks or businesses that all the folks you normally associate with IRL know, but that if you step outside your comfort zone may not be so well known. Around here, we have Paul’s Place for hot dogs (known for at least 50 miles in every direction) and we have the two men who were mayor of the two cities I spend my time in for more years than I can count, but who were recently “replaced” by those of a more northern persuasion (insert eye roll).

And then we have businesses that are aiming to make a name for themselves far beyond the immediate area. Bruce Cavenaugh is one such entity, and I say entity, because that name belongs to both a person and business. Bruce Cavenaugh (the business) wants to be known as the place to go for used cars Wilmington, NC. With the price of gas these days, and the need many people have to move into smaller vehicles, it can actually make sense to travel a couple of hundred miles to get a sweet deal on a good used car. And that’s a fine reason to come see Bruce and his cars, but there’s another one that’s maybe even more compelling to me lately: in a day when I can hardly drive from point a to point b without running over 48-11 yankees, Bruce Cavenaugh (the person) has one major advantage over the competition. He’s a native, and he still sounds like it. Just click the link to hear a short clip and hear for yourself.

Okay, it’s time to get started with the updates, but I will let that be another post. I think we can safely go back to the 11th-ish of June and go from there. Relax, it won’t be a post per day, LOL!

I have been a fan of the Sherlock Holmes mysteries since I read my first (highly abridged) when I was about 8. It was Hound of the Baskervilles, in one of those little squareish Treasured Classics that they sell for children. I was amazed as a young teen to reacquaint myself with Holmes and Watson when I received a copy of the complete series, a book I still have, mind you.

Today, though, I am not going to talk about a book. Instead, I am going to tell you about a new game! The Lost Cases of Sherlock Holmes contains 16 cases, plus a bonus. The game is suitable for ages 10 and up, being mostly based on hidden objects and other visual discrimination games. The historically accurate settings and characters are lots of fun as well. It was a relaxing few minutes, and although I beat the game and solved the case before the time expired, it was a little closer than I’d like to admit. Who knew tulips could blend so well into their surroundings??!!??

I’m intrigued enough to play again, and I imagine from the chorus of oohs and ahs that were coming from my elbow that I will be coerced into sharing my computer so that others can enjoy the game as well. I’m sorely tempted to re-open the game and try another case or eight, but I’ve been promising my kids a grand camping adventure for Memorial Day for six weeks now. It’s time to go pitch a tent. Well, two tents, we’re a big family, LOL!

That would be my dogwood. I’ve been holding out hope, but now it is the middle of May, all the other tress are green, and yet the dogwood is not only not green, but it is also dry and brittle. Remember I told you I transplanted 2 trees last year, at the wrong time of year? Well, they both actually died, but the root ball lived on the one, so I have saplings coming up from it at least. Too bad I don’t know what it is yest, though it does resemble a peach. There are no other peach trees in the neighborhood, not even in my side yard where we dug that one up, though, so who knows.

You know what else? After all the drought, this year we have had heavy rains, and irises “hate to have their feet wet”, and so only a couple of them bloomed. Yep, two years of low bloom from the drought, followed by a year of no blooming because of too much rain. I just can’t win in the yard. Unlike my Grandmother, who could make anything at all grow. She always had the most beautiful flowers in her yard, right up until she moved out of her house. In fact, Mama has been working in the yard there this week, getting the place ready to rent. (They killed at least two SNAKES! Ugh! But remind me to tell you about AuntF and the snake story one day, it’s a good one.)

Anyway, back to the green, and not so green things in my yard. I saw an ad for <silk plants and it made me stop and think. Most people think of silk plants as an indoor item, but you can use them outside. And you know what? They don’t die if you move them at the wrong time of year, and they bloom right on time, rain or no rain. Bloom right on time. Hahah, I slay me. They come already blooming, and they stay that way, of course. Unlike mine, which apparently come not blooming and stay that way.

Ok, you want to hear the snake story? Fine. I have an Aunt with MS. AuntF is wheelchairbound, and occasionally bedridden, but she does get out and go places, and one of those places is the family reunion, which is where the story I am about to relate began. Now, she also smokes, but she has to wait for someone to light the cigarette for her, and sit with her while she smokes it, in case she drops it. This means that she smoked pretty much nonstop at the family reunion, and AuntF smokes in a style best exemplified by Hollywood, with long fingered graceful movements and a casual nonchalance. SO. We were sitting around last year, and talking, and she starts talking about the time there was a snake at her house, in the drainpipe and she “called Uncle R”. Her “Uncle R” was my Grand-dad, the same one I have spoken of several times on this blog. He happened to be very scared of snakes, which Mama and I knew, but maybe AuntF did not. So she told us that “Uncle R shot the sit out of that drainpipe”. Needless to say, I had vision of Grandad, eyes squeezed shit tight, blasting the side of the house, because yes, indeed, he did the business with a shotgun.

Fast forward 40-50 years, and we’ll wrap up with an event this week. I told you Mama had been working in the flowers at Grandmother’s, and there had been a couple of snakes killed. When she came across the last one (and also, my mother is TERRIFIED of snakes. it’s genetic. We can’t help it.), H was there. H is the grandson of AuntF, and he shot the snake. With a shotgun. And so when Mama told me, as I was laying on the floor doing my belly buster exercises, I just looked at her and said, ‘Well, did he shoot the shit out of that flowerbed border?” and we laughed and laughed and laughed. The rest of my family looked at us like we were insane. It was still funny, and I can’t wait to see AuntF again.

oooh, that just sounds so risque, doesn’t it? You are just expecting me to pop off with something saucy, aren’t you? Well, no, that’s not gonna happen, at least not in this post, but I was poking around the Bits of Lace website today, and I noticed a couple of things that surprised me. Bits of Lace specializes in fine lingerie, carrying such brands as Marie Jo Bras and Prima Donna. They’ve been in business over thirty years, so they aren’t a fly by night operation, and being based in Charleston, South Carolina, they are practically local. I’m trying to say you can click the links without worrying about your eyeballs catching fire, and I think we all know that this cannot be said for every link labeled lingerie. In fact, I browsed the site throughly to make sure there wasn’t anything too racy there, and each time I thought I had found it, the screen said

This collection is not currently available online. Please feel free to contact us toll free at (800) 842-3990 or at support@bitsoflace.com. We would be happy to special order any items of interest, subject to availability.

I like that in a lingerie place, because I have looked at dainties in online stores that would make me hide the screen from my own husband. So, I guess lesson number one is: it’s possible to sell lingerie without embarrassing your clientèle.

The next thing I learned is that there is more to plus size lingerie than the silly stuff you find at Wal-Mart or the above mentioned online places. Now, I am all about what goes on in the marital bedroom staying in the marital bedroom. And I like nice underthings. But a bigger woman often needs to be a more discreet woman, if you get my drift. It is often far better for us to leave some stuff up to the imagination. That’s the kind of lingerie I found at Bits of Lace. Lesson number two: there’s way more to sexy than “show more skin”.

I also discovered that I’ve been shopping in the wrong section of the store since my third baby was born. She’s the one that pushed me into a C-cup, and that’s where I’ve been ever since, no matter whether I weighed 130-something or my current 160-ish. I had no idea that plus size started at a C-cup, especially since I consider that a “normal” boob size. Quit laughing, you don’t know my sister and you didn’t know my aunt or Grandmother, either. Unless you are my mom, in which case you are nodding, not laughing. Lesson number three: I need plus size lingerie, no matter what I weigh.

So, anyway. You know that I have changed my eating habits (yes, I know I should write a post on that) and I am losing weight. And you know that dieters sometimes like to buy themselves special treats to mark milestones. I think I might know just the place to go to pick up “a little something” now. I know for sure that the next time a little hot pink box appears in my house, I’ll be gently directing dh to Bits of Lace instead.

You know, Valentine’s Day is coming. And rumor has it that people get presents for Valentine’s day, particularly incredibly forbearing wives such as myself. Now, dh, he will not even think about Valentine’s Day until he hears me tell the children Happy Valentine’s Day, so I am taking it upon myself to make a short list of things I would like to have, and since pink is my favorite color, and what color could be better for Valentine’s Day, and I like themes ………. all my potential prizes will be PINK. Yes, I said prizes, not presents, because tomorrow, I am going to enter the Game O Love at Overstock.com. Oh yes I am. And because I am a selfish woman, I am not entering to win something for dh. No, I am not. It’s all about me, and it’s all about pink!

• I want this pink Augen Prizm MP3/4 player. It has all the features I had written down that I wanted in a player PLUS an electronic book function.
• This pink watch would brighten my day, too.
• I want this Canon Powershot and a pink case to put it in (You thought you caught me, didn’t you? HA! Or, I can use nail polish to paint the shutter button pink. I already have the nail polish, so that will make it easier for you.)
• Ooooh, this pink bedding set is absolutely GOR-JUS! I need it in Queen. Yes, I want allllllllllllllllllllll those pillows, too.

Now then, that’s my list and I’m stickin’ to it, as they say. You ought to go over and pick out a few things for yourself. Or your sweetheart, in case you aren’t as selfish as me

Overstock.com’s “Game O Love” will start tomorrow and run through Feb. 11th.
The post may be sponsored, but I can totally assure you that the pink wish list is my own!

Have you heard about the Gphone? I read about it today on allinanchor.com. I had not heard of it, but I guess I am no really surprised, since Google seems determined to control the information age from the holding hostage of my PR to the delivering of search results that contain pages consisting solely of ads in spite of their insistence that they are cleaning up the internet………..oh, darn it, there I go again. Sorry.

Back to allinanchor. This blog deals with internet marketing and news and a bit of SEO type stuff, but they do have some fun forays into high tech gadgetry. It’s an interesting blog that won’t overburden you with constant updates. Unlike yours truly, these guys only blog when they have something to say. They are looking for guest writers, too, so if the field interests you, and you have something to add to the discussion, be sure to leave a comment asking about that!