Recently my freezer went on the fritz. I had a use it or lose it day and I made hamburgers and salmon patties and about ten pounds of fried chicken, three kinds of fancy frozen white potatoes, roasted sweet potatoes, green bean fries, cheese balls, and four pounds of little green butter beans. Oh, and a chicken bog, let’s not forget that. I used lemon pepper to season it, and it was delicious.

Tonight, I pulled from the storage ottoman beside my bed some stuff I had stuffed in there. I had one mascara, one eyeliner, and nine (Yes, NINE, I counted them, and I also have pictorial proof!) brand new eye shadow palettes. Some of them were about six months old, and some of them, I confess, had been in that ottoman for over a year. I’d bought those new shadows because I was tired of my old colors, which are now several years old, and no longer even vaguely fashionable. But for some reason, I felt like I had to use up all the old stuff first. All the old stuff. Every bit of every color in every palette I already had. People, it’s all frosted. It’s that old and that unfashionable. And no, I am not mistaking the word “frosted” for the word “glittery”. Today, frosted is foolish, but glittery is glam. My current mascara starts the morning on my lashes, but finishes the evening on my cheeks. So attractive. The new is waterproof! It was a shake my head moment. Tomorrow, I am wearing new. I’m going to own that stuff I bought.

Just so you know, I also keep my slinky nighties in that ottoman, but I won’t be wearing those any time soon. I share my room with my two youngest girls, and I have three young sons. Besides, I sleep alone. Well, I start out alone, but I usually have a girl child or two in the bed by morning. Negligees are not quite what I need to be wearing to bed these days, but I keep them close by because it makes me feel good to have them there. Miracles might still happen, after all. The kids *might* be visiting their dad the night Prince Charming leaps out of the picture in the storybook.

Now, like most women, I also have clothes in my closet with the tags still on. Nice things. Things I bought because I loved them, and they looked fabulous on me and I had to have them. And I hung them up and I looked at them every day, but I never wore them. And shoes. Oh my goodness, the shoes. I love shoes. I have three pairs of flip-flops, five pairs of sneakers, four pairs of clogs, four pairs of flats, eleven pairs of medium heels, thirteen pairs of how-do-you-even-walks and two pairs of house shoes. Unless I miscounted, and this is a distinct possibility. That’s a lot of shoes! But every day, I dress for school in jeans and sensible shoes for walking across campus really fast. But I have those shoes and clothes! They are “for special”, you see. I can’t risk getting them messed up. So, I leave the good stuff, even if it came from Goodwill, in the closet as if I, alone by myself doing the normal things that I do, am not special. They are mine, even if I don’t really own them. Well, from now on, it’s all going to come from Goodwill unless I have to have something very specific right now, and I am going to wear whatever I want, whenever I want (except the nighties, right?). I’m going to own my shoes and my clothes, and if I do spill on it or rip it or whatever, so what? It only cost five bucks or less, and someone will donate another one soon. It will be there when I need it or want it, just like all these other great pieces were.

But I started with the freezer, so let’s get on back to that. In the bottom of the freezer were two bags of boiled peanuts, one of which my grandmother had “put up” for me in 1987. Boiled peanuts do not last for twenty-five years in the freezer, not even if your Grandmother put them up. I heated them the next day, and we tried to eat them, and ended up throwing them away. Oh, I cried. If I had just eaten them when she gave them to me, I could have enjoyed them. I love boiled peanuts, and Grandmother knew that. She gave me a gift of her time and labor and I saved it until it spoiled. What a waste!

In the top of that freezer was a double chocolate cake that I had been saving for “special”, too. The kids and I ate it up tonight. In fact, I took a break from this writing so we could. It was good. They were happy. So was I. We owned that cake. Yes, it’s gone now, but we owned it, because how do you own what you never touch or wear or eat? That’s possession, and there is a difference.

So, classes started. The busy began. And I thought I had a ton of stuff to tell you about until I sat down to actually say something. Ummm, let’s see. I read a book, Raising a Large Family. That would be number 42. And I watched the entire first season of “White Collar”. And I have spent the past 3 days finishing up lab hours from last semester (6 more to go) and reading Cosmo. I read four issues yesterday, the oldest of which was dated December 2009. Yeah, I am a little behind in the rest and relaxation department.

Today, I plan to work on homework and go to the optometrist. I am pretty sure I will end up with bifocals. He tried to get me in them 18 months ago, but I opted for 2 pair of glasses instead. It worked, since I see in the middle distance just fine, and my main problem is astigmatism, so I can read without my glasses, it’s just clearer with them. What I can’t do is read PowerPoints from the back of the classroom, which is where I am sitting for several classes this semester. But I can’t read up close with my distance lenses, and I am tired of trying to see over/under/around my glasses to take notes. Harumph! Extended wear contacts maybe?

In other news, which is really the same sort of news, I am excited about my classes. This semester I have Creative Non-Fiction, Intro to Sociology (hello, history meets psychology which is, for me, the mental equivalent of chocolate meeting peanut butter, leading to mental orgasm every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 10am), Social Welfare Policy, Intro to Social Work, and Culture of the Military: War and Its Consequences. I am starting my official BSW sequence in the fall, so this semester I am taking the pre-requisites and other requirements.

Alrighty then, that about wraps it up. I should be back tomorrow with a book review.

I am sure many of you know this trick already, but I am once again discovering how much I can accomplish in just 15 minutes. I have a tendency to hyper-focus and concentrate on just one thing until it is finished or I am exhausted. It’s a trait of ADD, which doesn’t necessarily mean, as most people think, an inability to pay attention, but a problem with directing attention appropriately. So, for instance, I could clean the kitchen all day, and it would be very clean, but I would not be noticing that the kids are wrestling in the living room, the toilet is overflowing, or even that the rest of the house has burned down. You can see how this might be a problem for someone who has many, many important irons in the fire, right? So, I am trying some cognitive therapy on myself. I do stuff in 15 minute increments, 30 if it’s something I need to be deeply involved in. I look at the time when I sit down or get up (depending on the task at hand), decide how much I can realistically accomplish in the allowed time, and then that’s how much I do. When the time I up, I walk away.

Sometimes, that’s very frustrating. I’m a plate cleaner. I like to get a task done, and have it off my plate. Unfortunately, that’s not how real life works. Real life is repetitive. Think about it, everyday you have to get up, brush your teeth, brush your hair, get dressed, make coffee, etc, etc, etc. Coming to grips with the fact that my living room will never BE clean and so I will be cleaning it everyday is a real break through for me. I’m telling you all this so that I can tell you I spent 15 minutes this morning organizing the last of my knitting stuff and I feel pretty pleased with myself. Except that organizing my knitting stuff will never be truly finished because I always have at least one set of needles out of place, because I am using them to knit something. And that’s okay. Life is messy, and I am learning to get over it.

However that stack of stuff I took off the shelf that I put my knitting stuff on? It’s sitting in my rocking chair. It’s been there for an hour, and it’s already on my last nerve.

Ghoulish. Goulash. My cousin. Tiny babies. Little knitted things. There’s my stream of consciousness that I am floating back into the blogging world on. I realized that while I say I lack time to blog, that’s not necessarily true. After all, I manage to make time to do other non-essential things. The fact is, I am AFRAID to blog. Something BAD might happen. I might OFFEND somebody with my words. Oh wait, that did happen, didn’t it? And it was pretty awful. But no one died, and in fact, 20 months later, everyone seems to be much better off. So good.

And my blogging words aren’t the only ones that offended someone. I also managed to alienate someone with yahoo chat, but I still haven’t quite figured that one out, because I didn’t actually SAY anything. But I miss blogging. I miss telling my stories. Sure, I journal every day, but that’s not quite the same, is it?

Now, here is what I don’t have time to do realistically: maintain 6 domains with fresh relevant content. So, I’m not going to try that. What this means for me is that my other blogs will remain active, but they will be primarily cash cows. This blog will get the stories, all of them. Stuff about my schooling, my crafting, my reading, my children, my whole fricken-fracken life. Yay you, yay me, woohoo!

Now then, it seems somewhat traditional to post a list of goals for the year, here in the first week of January, but I am not going to do that. I’m a non-traditional sort of gal. Besides, I already know what my goals are, and I’m thinking you’d rather hear about what I AM doing and HAVE done rather than a mile long list of things I plan to do. So, no goals today, except the blogging ones: I plan to blog, and I plan to do it on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays.

And here is some other stuff I AM DOING:
I’m back into The Artist Way.

I am smoking a fake cigarette instead of real ones.

I am using and loving the WiiFit. I laughed when I heard you could work out by using a video game and your tv, but let me tell you, that thing kicks my ASS. But I love it!

I am getting ready for a new semester. I have decided to go with a dual major. Well, I guess dual degree is more accurate. I’ll be graduating in May of 2014 with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology with a minor in Creative Writing and a Bachelor of Social Work. I am excited about all that, but this semester is going to be tight and tough. I am signed up for 18 hours, and I will likely keep 15 of those. But that’s a minimum of 30 hours per week on school stuff, and probably closer to 45 most of the time. Plus all the other stuff I need to do. And so because of all that,

I am spending this last week before classes begin tightening up my morning, stay home/get home, noon, 5pm, and evening routines. I’ve changed them daily since I drew them out the last week of December, but I am getting there.

Ok, that’s all I’ve got for today. Hopefully by Thursday, I will have found some of the actual stuff that I meant to blog about with pictures but managed to lose when I rebuilt my office/project area. Yeah, I could take a quick shot of that shambles, but I’m not. Ha!

You know, I like to be happy here most of the time, so in my last post, I *did not* mention the two items about myself that are most distressing right now. First, I have gained 10 pounds since January. Gross, right? Remember the dog? I am expecting him to help with that. Second, I have acne again. Actually, I have it for the first time, because I didn’t have many zits as a teen. I don’t know if it’s stress, or poor diet, or the fact that I read with my hand on my face, but it is awful. I keep looking at different acne soaps, but so far I haven’t found a soap that combats acne and wrinkles, so I’m still looking. Any tips?

First, the uh, thingie in the toilet that tells the tank it needs to fill…the float? It gets stuck in the full position, and I have to jiggle it every third time we flush. We flush a lot. The tank cover has now been sitting in the bathroom floor for a couple of months. It’s a very small bathroom and I am sick of seeing the tank cover every time I go pee. I am a sittee, not a standee, and we do not have to look at the tank cover.

Second, my car is sitting in the driveway, useless, because the starter is in the trunk. I can’t go anywhere. Not that I actually *want* to go anywhere today, that is not the point. The point is that I can’t.

Third, the NaNo manuscript. Will the typing never end? Yes, it will. Three pages a day will see that little chore taken care of by months end.

Fourth, the kitchen sink. The unilever lever is malfunctioning. Turning off the water has become a sport, a game pitting the wit of the plumbing against the determination of the user. It shall be replaced by a two faucet system shortly, if I have to do it myself, which I plan to try to avoid with pleading eyes and a winsome smile. I will go with a decent set, preferably high rise, but I am not planning to lay out for Moen kitchen faucets. That would be too much gild on the lily, given the rest of my kitchen.

Fifth, I want to write again. I realized this morning that I miss the intensity of NaNo. The pressure to produce, produce, produce was actually a freedom to sit and concentrate on doing what I love. I plan to give myself permission to spend most of this weekend just writing. As soon as I finish my homework.

Sixth, oh wait, I said the short list. Never mind.

Time for the daily school report! Just kidding, it won’t happen everyday, LOL! My car is still not running right, so Mama gave me a ride to school, and I had my first experience with the shuttle service. I like it, and it’s reasonably convenient, with buses running around campus every 10 minutes. I was also p-leased to discover that the campus is smaller internally that externally. I can actually walk between my classes in 10 or 15 minutes if I need to, and I still will for one class.

One of my classes was canceled today, and I used my time wisely. Not by reading about the best diet pills, but by getting a head start on my reading for next week. Since I’ll be working one day next week, I thought that was a good use of my time.

In other news, I’ve been getting up even earlier the past couple of days. at 5:30 instead of 6:15, and the pay off has been being able to complete my morning routine before my school or blogging/studying day begins. This morning, I was tempted to snooze longer, but when I remembered how smooth the early day was yesterday, and how much I enjoyed collecting my thoughts before the kids got up, I dragged myself out of bed. I never thought I’d be one to get up before I absolutely had to, but I am going to keep trying it.

And by that, I mean my admin screen just looks real weird today. Maybe because it’s not fully loading, because I have two computers downloading data as fast as they possibly can, and my bandwidth is if full use? Yeah, that could be it. Yes, I got the new hard drive and I am busily filling it with tunage.

So, how are things with you? It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I just haven’t been able to get back in the swing of blogging since the NaNo, but I’ve missed it.

I’m gearing up for back to school. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. And having to register last has thrown me some serious curve balls as far as getting the classes I need. Next semester, I get to register first, and should be able to get what I need. And I am crossing my fingers that a slot will open for the biology I need this time, but I doubt it.

In other news, I am doing what I usually do this time of year: goal setting. I really want to work on my life list stuff in 2011, and the only way to do that is to PLAN to do it, ykwim? So, I’m looking at that. And I am looking at where I want to go with my writing, and my knitting and all that other stuff that I love to do. And I am looking at making time for friends that I have lost touch with in the past couple of months. About the only thing I am not debating is whether or not to wear nursing scrubs 24/7. But I am entertaining then as a pajama possibility.

And I am trying to get out there. I have managed to keep the house up since I cleaned it, and I now spend most of my time out in the main area, but…I still prefer home to out. I guess I will always be that way, but I’m pretty sure my time for hermitage is pretty far off. I’m kinda committed to school for 5-6 years or so, and then I will be working, and out there meeting new people is going to be my way of life for quite some time. It’s not scary, but it’s uncomfortable. The thing is, the more comfortable I make the house, the more I like it. I feel like I am not making a bit of sense in the world here, LOL. Which mean I probably am not. Maybe I should just remind myself that every time I go out and do a new thing I enjoy myself and learn something. And so while being home is comfortable, being out is exciting. I like exciting, but I sure wish it happened here, LOL! I don’t have to expend so much mental and emotional energy here. And also, I can wear pajamas and drink coffee all day.

Anyway, school. If I get the schedule I settled on yesterday, I’ll be going three days a week and I will have breaks between each class for homework and such. I’ll leave after the kids get on the bus and be home before they get back from school. If, if, if. Lord help me, I am rambling. I told you I was out of the blogging groove, right? Heh, I meant it.

I’ve met some new and interesting people lately, and I apply the term “met” loosely, since I have only chatted with them online. Apparently, when a 43 year old woman puts a profile up on a dating site, all the young boys come running. Not that I dislike young boys, but they do tend to think I must be desperate for sex. Umm, no. I just want dinner and conversation. We can go dutch, even, because at the end of the night, we will both still be wearing our pants. Even if you swear your wankie is 9 inches long.

Hmmm, trying to think if there’s anything else I am burning to tell ya’ll, and I can’t think of a thing. I guess that means I am done.