Look, I’m gonna get to see Daddy for Christmas, ya’ll. I’m can do it with this: Wallhogs. I can take his picture, maybe with my new camera (Ted, are you reading this?!?), and turn it sideways, so I get a full view of his 6 foot 4 inch self. I can trim out all the background junk, and then I can have it printed on semi-adhesive vinyl, and he’ll fit, because I can go up to 7 feet tall by 52 inches wide! I can even add a speech or thought bubble that’s says “Wish I was here”. If I wanna go a little smaller, I can choose glossy poster paper (like a typical poster) or canvas. It’ll cost less than $100 bucks.
Furthermore, I’ll send the bill straight to DAK, since if they won’t let my daddy off to spend Christmas with his kids and grandkids, they can at least pay for us to have him on the wall. Observing silently, as it were. Of course, since he has only had one day off since September, he’s looking pretty ragged. Maybe I better use an old picture instead 🙁