Had a chat with my mom today, in which I tried to explain how I feel when she finds fault with me or the children. I don’t think I was able to explain it quite right. I am so tired that I am having a hard time making sense to myself, let alone anyone else. I must sleep, and for more than 5 hours, and soon. Tonight would be really good, but….who knows. I probably need to squeeze in a second meal for today. My breakfast was after 3, so who knows on that score, either. This is turning into a regular little pity party, isn’t it? Sorry. I’m normally a pretty cheerful person.
I’m gonna have to start taking more thought about some issues. Obviously I cannot continue to stay up so late. I know my kids are not getting what they need from me, and I am falling asleep sitting up. The time alone I need is not happening, and when that occurs my mental wires start short-circuitung. I can continue like this for a few days, but it does take a toll, and I do have to step back and regather myself. The sooner I can do this the better. I’m not seeing that happening with in the next few days though, and that’s bothersome. Right now, it’s looking like it could be as long as the second weekend in November before I see any kind of respite, and I don’t think I can hold out that long.
Of course, the truth is that we do what we have to do. The question is, how effectively can we do it in any given set of circumstances?