12. Tired. Cranky. Fat.


So. I’m tired. I don’t know whether I am tired physically, or because of this series of rapid changes, but I am tired. I am sure part of it is that I still haven’t regulated my schedule. I just can’t make myself see the point of getting out of my bed at 3:30 if I have nowhere to go, and I just want to sleep.

In other news, I have reached the serious part of the non-smoker plan. Three cigarettes yesterday. Two so far today. I’m having to do some fast talking with myself. I don’t want to quit smoking. I do want to be a non-smoker. Which dog will I feed? And also, those cookies…..GIVE THEM TO ME!

Speaking of cookies, I had a discussion with several pairs of jeans today. Basically, the discussion consisted of me saying “buh bye.” For those of you wondering why I dress mostly in skirts and tops, let me tell you. My waist is about a size 12/14. Hips, 10/12. Ass, 6/8. The jeans that make my butt look good are impossible to button. Unless they are low rise, and then I can button them, but the band rolls down and my belly hangs out for all the world to see, which is gross because tiger stripes, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a closet full of tunics.

I am not even thinking about diet and exercise at this point. Too much else already going on. I’m going to stick with fixing my sleep and fixating on cigarettes.

This picture is all I want in life right now. Nicotine, cookies, and that Otter IN my bed. But I’m going to settle for some Earl Grey Raspberry and Game of Thrones.

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