Archives
“work”
Life is hard.
Unfocused
I have the title. I’ve entered the references. And I cannot make myself start writing this damn paper. I’ve rolled with the punches until I’m black and blue, and they just keep coming. I’m ready to quit but not sure of what. I’ve already pared the nonessentials.
Velveteen rabbit
Today they made me real with a plastic magnetized name tag like every one else wears.  Goodbye piece of paper tucked in a cello sleeve!
More homework
Reading The Alchemist in the afternoon, watching “Doubt” tonight.
An excerpt from my field journal
First a picture. I wore this to work today. And I put at least one hole in these tights, which were the only pair of light colored tights I owned, and shall be replaced forthwith.
And now the excerpt:
I have noticed that in semi-private rooms there is no space for hobby supplies. A bed, a chair, a wardrobe, and a nightstand fills the space. And then we wonder why our elderly lose interest in life. How hard would it really be to build places with only private rooms? Especially for long term care? It becomes a dignity issue when I think about it. How humiliating is it to know that your roommate knows all your bodily functions? How dehumanizing is it to reduce a person’s personal effects to their clothing and a few photographs? How would I feel today if that were done to me?
I’d be so angry. And then I would be crushed. And then I would want to turn my face to the wall and die. I am what I do. I am a reader. I am a knitter and spinner. And if I only had room for two books and the one ball of yarn I was knitting from….and if I had to wait for someone to bring me another ball of yarn from outside because I had lost my mobility and with it the ability to drive….SHUDDER.
Clearly, I need good health insurance, because I will not be able to rely on medicare to cover a room with privacy and space. And in the meantime, I have found a real advocacy issue. Maybe even a future practice plan.
And I haven’t even considered the implications of extreme introversion on this equation. Yeah, I met a couple of those today, too. People like me, who would rather gnaw off their own arm than have a stranger in their space 24/7. Yeah, advocacy issue. Because wealth should not determine whether or not one spends their final days feeling like a rat in an overcrowded cage. You know that rats will eat each other to escape that situation, right?
I get to call this work
That’s right, coloring Van Gogh’s “Sunflowers” while listening to Beethoven. I bet you wish you could be me right now. But you can’t. I watched magic happen with one of my residents while this was going on. I’ve gotten permission to expand this intervention to another unit. I’m excited about that. I’m also wiped out, so that’s all the words you get.
I still get credit for the full 500 because I wrote 2.75 pages longhand before 7am. BOOYAH!
It’s Monday
Today is Monday, or long day as I call it, because I am on the fly until 9 pm. But. Apparently, we are having snowpocolypse for the next two days. The area public schools have already cancelled classes; my boss told me she wasn’t expecting me; and the lone hold out is a professor who told us the first day we sat in her class that if there was a flake in the air, she did not drive. So. Two days off, in which I would like to plan to get things done, but accept that is unlikely to happen. Unless I plan to sit around with my kids, drinking hot chocolate and watching movies. So maybe I will plan to do that, so I can enjoy the days instead of being frustrated at them and myself. Yes, ok. That’s the plan. And some laundry. I am out of long pajama pants.
As you can see, I wore a scarf today. This one I picked up on sale when I got the makings for the giftings I spoke about a few days ago. I wear black a lot, so it is perfect for me. I love scarves, because they just make an outfit look finished. I have bunches of them. I know exactly two ways to wear them. I need scarf classes. Or an intervention. Or a scarf class intervention.
Today at work was interesting. I feel almost as disoriented and overwhelmed as I did the first week I was there. I mean, I was back one and a half days and then got sick. I hit the ground running, though, and ended up doing quite a bit. As soon as we realized the weather was going to be a major factor in the week’s events, I started on assessments. I think I kicked about 10 of those out. I picked up two new people for one-to-one visits. There were conversations with my supervisor about this and that.
This: she is organizing a child care thing for our employees for Wednesday. See, that’s the beauty of social work to me–seeing a need and meeting it. Our employees can’t call out, but they also can’t leave their kids unattended. So, she’s doing something to help. Holistic care, even for the staff.
That: anticipatory grief in staff.
The other thing I did at work today was to sit with residents in memory care, listen to Bach, and draw. Yeah, I get to do cool stuff like that and call it work.
Here’s something. I really enjoy classical music. I don’t listen to it often. We don’t do that here, because classical is musty and fusty and if you enjoy it you are a hoity-toity snot who has gotten above your raising. But. It’s beautiful. You sit, you listen, and your soul frolics within you. So, no more paucity for me. There will be music and it will be classical. I can use Songza to listen to the different composers. I can say I am researching for work if anyone asks.
Oh, look. UNCW just sent a mass text. All classes/events cancelled tomorrow. So guilt free hot chocolate and movies for the win.