This dresser is empty. I’ll repair it if I can, but either way, it’s out of here. Along the way, I built four sets of shelves and filled seven.
The good news is that games are in the room with the table. The bad news is that I have four full chairs and a full sofa. And I can’t see the table we’re supposed to play games on. Whatever. Goal met.
I’m doing some soul searching today. “Able to attend church” should not be a white privilege. America, you make me sad. #Charleston
Isn’t that lovely? That’s what I had for breakfast after I logged my 4500+ steps for the day. There’s plenty of walking left in this day, but my goal has at least been met.
Today’s post was going to be a rant about how my fitness plan is not coming together as well as it should. But while I was on my walk this morning, I did the math. I’m eating about 100 calories less per day than it takes to maintain my current weight with a sedentary lifestyle. I’ve burned about 1200 calories through the walking challenge. That’s a 1800 calorie deficit all together, and on the morning of the sixth day, I have lost .6 pounds. The science works. This must be how anorexics are born, because it really seems unfair that I am counting every gram of everything that crosses my lips AND increasing my activity level and losing less than a pound per week. But there it is.
I’m not sure where they get the numbers that say a healthy weight loss is 1.5-2 pounds per week. Maybe from people who are tall enough that they are “allowed” to weigh more than me. I figured, as someone who is in the “obese” range of the BMI chart, the changes would happen faster. I guess obesity is also heightist. I can’t really cut my calories any further and still meet my nutritional needs– I’m averaging only 1290 per day as is.
I should quit bitching. I’ve lost about 2 pounds since the 23rd of May. Apparently in my feet. I wore my red clogs yesterday, the ones that had been tight on the top of my foot since I got them. There’s now a visible gap between my instep and the shoe. It’s the little things, I guess.
I plan to stick with my plan. Soon I will be the fittest fat person you know.
But I did it anyway. I walked 3693 steps this morning. I only needed 3500 and there are hours left in the day. Many hours. This is the fourth day of the challenge and first day I have not been excited to walk. Of course, that could be because I have more than doubled the required steps each previous day. In fact, yesterday I was almost 10K, which is the ultimate goal of the 30 days. Some folks around me expressed surprise that I was heading out again today, and the temptation to not go was strong. But I reminded myself that the real point of the challenge is to increase my activity level, and I need to be consistent if I am going to instill the habit. So I went. This challenge is more about fitness for me than the actual step count.
By the way, there is also filthy lucre involved. I picked up my first reward on Friday. I’m not showing it to you until I have earned it, but it’s sitting there, still in it’s packaging, luring me on to do the things in the book. I haven’t yet had a day where I earned 100 points. I’m hanging in at 75-80 per day, and I am pleased with that. For now. And I can have my first prize in another 270 points. That could be as early as midweek.
I have noticed that I am not spending as much time reading as I would like. And that my yoga practice has all but disappeared. I’m rectifying the latter today with a 4pm class at the Y. It’s about prioritizing, and at this time, my biggest priority is not looking like a marshmallow anymore. It would be nice to finish my schooling at the same weight I started it, but that would require about a pound a day, and that’s probably not the healthiest way to go about things.
Gotta run, the cousins are here!
I have discovered that it is difficult to get 100 grams of protein with what one might call “normal food” without getting way more fat in my diet than I want. I went to Sam’s yesterday to buy groceries and while I was there, I bought beef jerky, protein drinks, and some salad add-ins that are high in protein. I also found bread with quinoa, chia, teff, and kamut. It also has 4 grams of protein per slice. And it is yummy. Problem solved.
None of that has anything to do with the photo. This is one of two turtles I encountered on my walk this morning. I think he would have fit in the palm of my hand. The other was partially in a hollow, and I think she was laying eggs, so I didn’t want to get too close and disturb her nesting. There was also a bullfrog, poison ivy (which I did not touch), and something huge that splashed in the pond. I don’t know what it was because I was busy taking the picture of the turtle. Also, rabbits and squirrels and birds. I was blessed today to take my 3,000 steps on a nature trail by the bay. It was a good way to start the day. It was already bordering on hot when I finished about 7:45, so I’ll be bumping that walk up until I find a sweet spot. I don’t plan to do the eventual 10,000 at mid-day.
I’ve spent a bit of time today refining my room. I’m not quite sure I will ever be done with that task, but I am down to small changes now, and each one adds to my satisfaction/peace when I walk into my sacred space. It is nice, after a period of time where everyone felt free to walk into my room at their whim, to live differently. Only three people enter without asking express permission, none of them live here, and they have all received blanket permission to do so. I can leave home without worrying that my room will be violated in my absence, my possessions purloined, and my sanctuary disturbed. Let alone being able to go to bed and go to sleep without worrying about who is going to walk in and see me drooling on my pillow. Yes, it has actually happened that a random teenage boy that I had never seen before walked through my room after I went to bed. I was not pleased. At all.
We’re going to the Orioles/Yankees game tonight: the four kids, a friend, and I. Hopefully I won’t crash as hard and as early as I did last night. I’ve still got a good bit that I would like to accomplish before 5pm, including cooking the take-along dinner we have planned. It should be a fun night. You know I live in Baltimore, so that means I root for the Orioles. But I’ve also been a Yankees fan since…many years. I’ll leave the park happy tonight, no matter what happens. Unless we get rained out. Then I will leave unhappy. And also wet.
So, this is an inside page of the book I showed you yesterday. All of this is what I want to get done today. As you can see, I already have one check mark. Actually, I have two, because as soon as I took this picture, I was able to check that off as well.
Now, if you know me, you know that lists are nothing new. My ADHD brain just loves to check shit off, and thrives on structure. Without it, I flounder and waste a lot of time on the internet. You can imagine that this summer, with minimal class attendance and no small children at home, was a yawning chasm of aimlessness for me, and not in a good way. I do have goals, and I need to be taking steps to meet them. Therefore, there is a page in this book for every day between yesterday and August 14, inclusive, just like it says on the cover.
But. This book is also a radical departure from my normal list making. You can see that in addition to habits I want to maintain or build and the jobs I need to do, there is also fun stuff listed. That’s difference number one. Difference number two is this: my “Summer of Challenge” also comes with rewards.
In the past, and I mean around the time my fourth child was born, I have used my lists to beat myself up. At the end of the day, I would look at all I hadn’t done. An incompletely finished list was a sign of my daily failure as a person. I’m changing that mindset. Just as I tell my clients to give themselves credit where it is due, I’m taking credit where it’s due. Each item on this daily list is worth five points. Even the fun stuff. And I get a reward for every 500 points I earn over the summer.
Girl wants things. I want a new phone. I want a smart watch. I want to go Goodwilling with my cousin. I may want to go out to dinner and now worry about how many fats and carbs are on my plate. I want a yoga block or two. And I can have one of those things as soon as I have 100 check marks in this book. My lists run over 20 items, so this could be done in 4 or 5 days.
I’m not superhuman though. I still only have 24 hours a day like the rest of you. Some days, there’s just more to do than can be accomplished. The point system also acknowledges that. Yesterday, I got 75 points. Not bad considering that I didn’t even “finish” the book until noon, and then I added to it as things came to mind until 5pm.
And you know me. I love to beat me up. The very last thing I added was the reward system. Boys and girls, I have replaced my stick with a carrot. Apparently the three lectures I’ve attended on CBT in the past 10 days have sunk in.
Oh, look. Another check mark, because I just journaled right here on the blog.
Inside this book are a bunch of plans. Detailed road maps to end my bitching about my body, my house, my library, my stacks of crafty crap. Because. I do not want to spend my entire summer playing Royal Story, as entertaining as that may be.  My kids leave a week from today. It’s time to lock and load.
I broke out a Moleskin for this… I’m just that serious.
