G is for green, and gratitude and grief and generous and gracious and gregarious and gentle. Gravy, grapes, gnocchi, green beans, garden peas. Great, gargantuan, gigantic. Gross, gay, gory, greasy, grotesque, gorgeous, good. Gardening, groveling, greeting.
I listed a lot of G words, because I decided not to write about the F word I came up with last night, which is “futile.” Futile is how I feel when kids get shot in their classrooms, and runners get blown up, and my country fires drone missiles that kill civilians on their way to get water. Futile: because I cannot protect my children; I cannot protect myself; I cannot protect anyone. We are all at the mercy of madmen, and governments, and attention seekers.
I’m going to spend the rest of my life doing damage control. That’s what it comes down to, the field of social work. Controlling and ameliorating damage, because we cannot prevent it.
As you read this, don’t think I have given up, or that I am overwhelmed by sadness. I am saddened by the things people do to one another, but it is a useful sadness. It inspires me to make a change, be a change, facilitate change. When I focus on damage control, I don’t feel futile anymore.