Dear Redneck Neighbor

Yes you. The same one that “rakes” your yard by blowing the leaves into mine, and also dumps your food scraps over the property line into my back 40,

I had my children out today cleaning up the area behind my fence. I own that area, having paid for it with the property, just as you own the area behind your immediate back yard. I know you understand this concept, since you have plowed up for a lovely garden back there. Unfortunately for me, that garden of yours extends fully 6 feet into my yard. I hope you don’t mind if I harvest that produce.

Furthermore, while we were out there, we picked up numerous tin cans that escaped your burn pile which also happens to be in my yard. We found 2 empty fertilizer bags as well, which I must assume you used on your garden, the one in my yard. We also found the springs from a burned mattress set. I can only assume it is yours since so much of the other stuff belongs to you.

This family of 10 makes plenty of garbage without your help. As a rule, we get it into garbage cans and certainly never throw it in someone else’s yard. I’d appreciate it if you’d bother yourself to think about the extra work you are making for me when you transfer your trash from your property to mine. You might also consider the example you are setting for my children, unless that’s too big a concept for your redneck mind to grasp.

Sincerely,
Your hacked off neighbor

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