Midlife Musings

Reflections on life from 40-something

Tired, Grumpy, SAD?

November27

I detest the time change. Oh, I’ll gripe in the spring when it changes again, but I absolutely DETEST this one in the fall. Combined with the shorter days, it is dark all. the. time. It doesn’t matter what position you leave your shutters and bamboo blinds in, it’s DARK. It doesn’t matter whether you have elegant Hunter Douglas window treatments or discount stuff from the dollar store, it’s DARK. And to add to my disgruntlement, I have discovered this week that when I have one of those un-headaches, I perceive the world as several shades darker than it actually is, and LORD KNOWS, that is plenty dark enough.

If you’ve been reading very long, you may remember that back in July, I mentioned that I had been dealing with depression. Of course, that is an oxymoron, because one really doesn’t deal with depression– instead, depression deals with you. And so, here we are. I’ve been tired. I’ve been sluggish. I’ve been grumpy. I’ve even been mad, but I think mostly what I’ve been is SAD, and the thing is I recognize know that because of my realizations this summer. Unfortunately for me, realizing it does not do much to help me rectify it. It may be time to investigate some light therapy, because I really, really, really! do not want to live like this until spring. Really.

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I'm Cass. I am a full-time mom to eight great children, a Christian and a blogger. I'm also a knitter, a reader and a movie watcher. And a collector of eclectic oddities.

For the first time in 18 and a half years, I have my own little corner again. Somewhere along the way, I seem to have lost myself, and now that I realize I'm missing, I'm on the look out for me. You maybe don't know what that means, but then again, maybe you do. Regardless, this is where I'll be when I'm not being a mother or a knitter. This is where I'll be just me. And if no one ever reads it, that's ok. I'll know it's here.


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