Days of Our Lives
Image via Wikipedia

That’s the best I can come up with today. Pretty sad for a title, no? I’m sad and I am angry and it’s almost Christmas, and and and. You know, Pastor talked yesterday about grace. Sometimes when he talks, I don’t always get the point he means to deliver; it’s like God has other things planned for me. Yesterday, it was an illustration that Pastor delivered as an aside. He talked about what happens when you shake a soda. And you know it is about to fly when you hear the psst. And what comes out is what’s inside. And he said people are like that that, too. When you shake them up, the inside stuff flies out, and I got to thinking about what’s been flying out of me lately, and how very un-Christian most of it is. Sigh.

Of course, Mama did gently remind me that Jesus had never attempted to live with my husband, who seems to have lost his ever loving mind. Still. At least I have managed to persuade him to see the doctor. The man has not been quite right since his last surgery, and he’s just getting more and more unlike himself. (have I ever mentioned here that he has obstructive hydrocephalus and has a VP shunt? I’m not sure I have, because I do try to keep this blog about me and not him, but he does.) You know what finally convinced him to call? I asked him if his daddy would ever have let his mama mow the yard, and he had to say “probably not”. Yeah, so he called. And had to leave a message. But he called at least.

I’m just sick of the fighting all the time. And I do mean all the time. It makes me sad, too, because I know he is not himself, but I can’t endure him like this. It’s like….its like I have a new husband, one that I didn’t choose and that I don’t very much like. I really miss the old one, yk? If there is a medical reason, I can learn to deal, but pure ornery? That’s a bit more difficult.

Sigh. I guess I can look at the bright side. I’ve saved all of you a bunch of time and money. You don’t need a pop up tv to catch the soaps today. You’ve read it right here instead.

In other news, I sang again on Sunday, with a couple of friends, and everyone seemed to enjoy it. We are working up another song for this coming Sunday. It’s a good thing for me, I am enjoying it. It helps combat the stress of living in this Days of Our Lives world.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

2 thoughts on “Sigh

  1. I’m so sorry you are going through all this, and I wish there was SOMETHING I could do for you. We’re just too far away. But please know Cass I am thinking of you, and hoping for a brighter future.

    I wonder if you are on to something with him and his surgery. You did the right thing by convincing him to call the doctor, and I hope you hear back soon. Keep us updated!

Comments are closed.